Hull Man Awoken By Cockroach Crawling On Face

Written by Moys Kenwood

Thursday, 28 July 2011

image for Hull Man Awoken By Cockroach Crawling On Face
Imagine one of these critters crawling across yer mug!

A man in the Thai capital of Bangkok received an awakening of the rudest kind this morning after a cockroach crawled across his sleeping face, causing the aforementioned man much disgust.

Moys Kenwood, 48, was laid asleep dreaming at his apartment in the city, when, in the midst of his dream, he felt tiny little legs tip-toeing across his left cheek, then the bridge of his nose, and finally across his right cheek. He jumped out of bed just in time to see a disgusting brown cockroach scampering away behind his wardrobe, and out of sight.

After racing to the bathroom mirror to establish that there wasn't a legion of the filthy, hideous things scattered about his person, Kenwood took a quick shower, to cleanse himself of the tiny footprints that he knew were on his face, then had his breakfast, still thinking about the pleasant dream he was having when so rudely awoken.

"If it isn't ants, it's mosquitoes. If it isn't mosquitoes, it's bloody cockroaches. Next, it'll be spiders or snakes! Or tigers," he exaggerated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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