Written by mothyspace

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

As a former junior diplomat to Saudia Arabia in the early 2000's you can imagine I have a particular view about Terrorism.

September 11 2001 was a particularly harrowing period. All the blonde secretaries had to be counted and checked off my list as was my duty when emergency roll call came through after Osama's mates smashed those planes into the Twin Towers in New York.

It really was a terrible period of time for me. Here I was cramped up in one of those secure conference rooms with 20 women all nattering on, and not one was interested in my romantic entreaties. This was proof that Terrorism was and is serious. They were serious times! Yet again I digest.

Fast forward 10 years and we find ourselves again in a unique position. 'Anders Brevik' or the 'douche-bag' as I like to call him shattered Norway's innocence with that horrific attack. I totally wish I had have been a junior diplomat to Norway! Running the check-list over some of those Nordic horn-bag's would have been an absolute delight!

From my vantage point of special Junior Ambassador to NATO and the UN, I have to say that this Anders fellow is not representative of Right Wingers across the planet. Most 'right-wingers' actually believe the bull-dust that spews from their mouths. Whereas Anders Brevik didn't seem so enthused by it himself. Possibly because he's an academic and that makes me think this was an attack from a nerd who wasn't getting enough attention!

The Muslim's may well be pushing their world view and looking to take over the world with Sharia Law, And of cause the ancient backwardness that goes with that. But that's no reason to at least give em a chance to be peaceful.

I think its important that Muslim men and women get a chance to taste the Western lifestyle. This is of cause in spite of Brevik's idea that the Islamic religion is inherently war-like.

I've heard rumors that the women-folk of the Islamic persuasion don't wear anything under that gigantic black garb that they stuff over bodies. That leaves much to the imagination, and I for one endorse it!

If exposure to Western Cable television, McDonald's, Movie's and fast cars doesn't motivate them then Western Beaches like in my own Australia oughta give em a shot of the sweet tasting air of freedom.

Who knows one day the Muslim women may even develop enough self-confidence to go-to a nude beach and give the world a gander at what they have underneath all that gauze covering and cotton dress.

The truth is Brevik is just as bad with his actions as the real live terrorists! Al Hard, Wahabbist, Alli Aq Bar, Crimson Ji-Hardon, you name it, he's copying their strategy!

And I for one cannot tolerate it! Especially if it prevents me from running my checklist over future horn-bags of Western and other International flavors.

Digesting, or should I say digressing, I'd like to finish with a final comment about Ander's Brevik.

He maybe right that most Muslim's are war-like and have in their religious DNA the war mentality against us Western Pig-Dog infidels. The problem remains, his actions have spoken louder than his words!

LesPJnr is a former Junior Diplomat to Saudia Arabia and is currently Australia's Junior representative to the UN and NATO. He writes from his Sydney apartment overlooking Coogee Beach

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Anders Breivik




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more