2 youngest Kardashian twins to upstage older siblings with their own unique reality series
There's more to the untalented, totally re-constructed, empty-minded Kardashian sisters. Because just when you thought you knew everything you needed to know about them and their daily habits - along comes a startling bit of Kardashian trivia. Th...
Read full storyWilliam in secret £100 million Princess Di life insurance scam
London - (Ponzi Wept): Auditors have uncovered a £100 million insurance scam about to dosh up Prince William on the event of his wedding day. Diana's life was mysteriously insured for the preposterous sum just two days before the fatal Pont d'Alma...
Read full storyHappy Russian Christmas as Santa stuffs Anna Chapman stocking
Bloodyvostock - (Na Zdrawie): Friday's Russian Orthodox Christmas started early last week... with the appearance on the Let Them Talk TV show of 'two red pussies' - one of which wasn't a lion cub. "Da...and the other wasn't Anya Kushchenko!" show...
Read full story40 000 dead crabs washed up in Kent
40 000 dead crabs washed up in Kent Bizarre! Dead sea creatures in their thousands are washing up on beaches all over the world. Birds are falling from the sky. What's even MORE bizarre is that people are actually going around 'counting' them and it's believed they are 'rounding the numbers to the nearest l00'. Most of the public are asking for 'accurate' counts, just like in an election.
Read full storyHill Street's Back, And If It's Tuesday, Then Robert De Niro Is Ready For His Close-Up, Mr. DeSkoobMille
HOLLYWOOD - In what appears to be an altogether typical career move, two time Academy Award-winning actor-like legend Robert De Niro formally announced today his desire to participate in any way, shape, or form in the upcoming, new and improved, big screen edition of the legendary 1980's TV cop drama, "Hill Street Blues." According to inside sources (either affiliated with the not yet up and ru...
Read full story"C'est La Guerre!" as Michael Caine accepts wrong gong
Paris - (Gong Hits 4 Cazza): He famously turned down the Croix de Guerre... for having to kiss Brigitte Bardot before her successful mustache depilation ahead of the movie And God Created (Hairy French) Woman. This week Michael Caine finally acce...
Read full storyLevels of "spam" drop significantly!
Spam, spam, spam, made famous by Monty Python and ever since then globally known as one of the worst things mankind has ever invented is on the retreat. Levels of it have been falling significantly over the last couple of years proving that junk i...
Read full storyActon driving school owner who supplied US with execution drugs 'offers to sell Tamiflu to NHS'
London - (One-Little-Prick News): As profitable sidelines go selling sodium thiopental truth serum to Arizona State Prison has proved to be a nice little earner. Now Acton's Emergency Stop Driving School owner Mehdi Alavi has offered to put UK do...
Read full storyChina Running Out of Oxygen
Special to INS - Premier Wen Jiabao of China, in a nationally televised address, called on his countrymen to consume less oxygen: "We are facing a critical point in the Peoples' Revolution," said Jiabao. "For us to continue on the shining path toward...
Read full storyBreton Sets Date for U.S. Revolution
Special to INS - Anarchist Liam Breton of Tampa announced that he has settled on a date to foment rebellion in the lower 48 states. Alaska and Hawaii are not to be included because he only has 8,200 points in his frequent-flyer program. Breton's insp...
Read full storyEnglish Wine Industry demands Vanessa Whitburn's head
The English Wine industry is mourning the loss of Nigel Pargetter who died on Sunday night after falling from the roof of Lower Loxley Hall in the village of Ambridge, Borsetshire. Nigel was the 'go-to' man in the village on all matters relating t...
Read full storyShocking Discovery Shows That Jesus "Cut" Thirteenth Disciple, Biddy, who wrote the Book of Dirty Ditties, Before the Last Supper
Biblical scholars, combing through old Greek manuscripts, have uncovered the writings of a previously unknown disciple of Jesus whose writings were left out of the New Testament of the Holy Bible. This thirteenth disciple, whose name was Biddy,...
Read full storyWoman Sells Image of Jesus on Toast Disguised as Bin Laden for Ten Million
A Champaign, Illinois woman today sold, at auction, a piece of toast that held the image of Jesus Christ disguised as Osama Bin Laden for ten million dollars. The buyer, a man name Jack B. Sucker, who is a Congressional Aide to an unnamed Senato...
Read full storyGod Announces 2011 Angel Quota
Special to INS - Bryant Wright, President of the Southern Baptist Convention, announced today that a committee of fellow pastors recently completed a conference call with God. Preliminary results from this confab indicate that God will require 52,000...
Read full storyLast U.S. Manufacturer Moves to China
Special to INS - Not unexpectedly, the Autsch Pin Company announced today that it will move its manufacturing operations to China. CEO Arvid Lindstrom cited a shrinking labor force in Bagville, Minnesota where the company is headquartered. "Young peo...
Read full story'Everything Outside M25 Doesn't Exist' says London
NATION OF LONDON - The entire nine million population of London agreed that there is nothing beyond county of Greater London borders. "Uhh, well, uuh..." said Boris Johnson, president of London, "it is paramount that there is uhh... nothing, outsi...
Read full storyArabs and Israelis to have TV dating game
In an attempt to bring love and understanding to the middle east, a leading American programme producer is launching a TV dating show where Arabs and Jews can date each other. The show will be named; "You call this a date?" And will be hosted by R...
Read full storyHuckleberry Finn should be able to use the word n+gg+r claim US Negroes!
The not using of the word n+gg+r in a new version of Mark Twain's famous book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, is causing quite a stir in the US. The race relations board in the US claim it is wrong to use the word n+gg+r in modern times and m...
Read full storyGerman Eggheads lose sense of humour due to Dioxin poisoning
The recent egg poisoning case in Lower Saxony Germany has had far reaching consequences for the local German population including staff at the prestigious Max Headroom Institute for Parking Structures in Wiesleissen. The contamination of German eg...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Tasered After Handing Over House Speaker to GOP
White House officials say they had nothing to do with the tasering of former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, as a precaution against her suddenly using a huge gavel to beat the new Speaker, John A. Boehner, to death. "Even though Pelosi has be...
Read full storyBilly Bragg being driven out of his own village by angry mob
Billy Bragg, musician, song writer and political activist is being driven out of his £1.5 million mansion by an angry mob who claims he is assembling a monster using the limbs of dead people. The Police are currently lining a safe route for the an...
Read full storyAstrologers warn of Kate Middleton wedding disaster ahead of troubling birthday aspects
London - (Portents): The royal wannabe and New Labour hoaxer's birthday on Sunday is riddled with disaster star gazers have warned. An apocalyptic aspect between the Sun and Saturn on her Saturn Return anniversary will see Kate Middleton's gargant...
Read full storyWhere To Now For Hodgson And Liverpool?
At the start of the season, it appeared that the world was Liverpool's oyster, as some pundits tipped them to be potential title contenders, with even the most cynical observers forced to concede that with their off the field troubles behind them, an...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse album out next month and full of the usual expletives
It's been some 5 years since Ms Winehouse's last album 'Back to Black' but now it seems the wait is over and Spoof has the latest. It's been a turbulent time for Amy over the last few years and that has probably influenced some of the tracks from her...
Read full storyEU Gives Iceland the Cold Shoulder
The European Commission in it's first session this year in Brussels voted yesterday January 5th 2011 to freeze all Iceland's assets held in European banks as a result of the financial crisis. Iceland closed its high street banks as a result of exp...
Read full storyEpiphany Police
Epiphany Police will be on the streets of the UK tonight ensuring that householders remove all Christmas decorations. "In previous years," said Chief of the Epiphany Police, John Baptiste, "we have had occasions where people have failed to remove...
Read full storyColleague Stunned By Spoofer's Headgear Foresight
A West London man was recovering with a cup of tea at his desk this afternoon after being shocked by a Spoof-writing colleague's foresight. EIF News & Features stringer, Harry St Bede, was carrying out his normal duties at his office in the Gr...
Read full storyJo Yeates 'suspect' to sue over Pillock Of Society smear
Bristol - (Whodunnit News): A landlord bailed in the Jo Yeates murder probe has vowed to sue the media. Pals of retired teacher Chris Jefferies had dubbed him a 'pillar of society' during his arrest and questioning by police. But because of a...
Read full storyStar Sign Reassignment Continues To Promote Controversy
Astrologers remain divided about the increasing number of people choosing to undergo Star Sign Reassignment. As little as ten years ago it was believed that natal charts were fixed at the time of birth, and that lives would inevitably follow the c...
Read full storyThe KOP: "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!"
This WAS Anfield, Merseyside: Such is the adoration of Roy Hodgson from the 'faithfaul' Liverpool Supporters, that their chant "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England" has become the foundation of their growing 'esteem' in...
Read full storyDr Who marries his daughter!
In a bizarre turn of events, it has emerged that David Tennant, who played the 10th Doctor Who is to get married to the daughter of Peter Davidson, who played the 5th Doctor Who. In effect, he is marrying his own daughter. One would ask the question: "is it legal?" Although legend has it that Oedipus married his own mother, it has never been a serious issue before. Indeed, there have been no ca...
Read full storyRoyal Family Cut Wedding Costs
Her Majesty the Queen, has decreed, that royal weddings will now be financed in line with ordinary working class nuptials. This has shocked Palace aides and flunkies who make thousands of pounds out of the royal wedding festivities. Everybody invo...
Read full storyLaws of Home Economics for physicists
As with the laws of thermodynamics, there are three laws of home economics. The dedicated physicist should bare these in mind when setting up home. 1. Conservation of energy No matter how often lights and appliances are switched off, elsewhere in the home, a spouse or child is turning on something else. This keeps the house energy levels constant. Adding insulation, energy saving bulbs and tri...
Read full storyNYC's New Schools Chancellor, What the Public Thinks
It was a controversial pick -- a former publishing executive, chosen to lead the schools because of her outstanding management career. The fact that she has no teaching experience? No problem. No Master's degree? Who cares? Seeking the opinion...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Caught Playing 'Tonsil Hockey' With Lady Gaga Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - According to reports published in The Cabo San Lucas Morning Olé News Taylor Lautner and Lady Gaga spent a sunny afternoon on the sandy beach engaging in a friendly, erotic game of 'Tonsil Hockey.' Lautner was dressed in a...
Read full storyChef Gordon Ramsay Has Entered The Witness Protection Program
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FBI has issued a directive stating that one Gordon James Ramsay, age 44, and a native of Johnstone, Renfrewshire, Scotland, has just been entered into the U.S. Witness Protection Program. Ramsay, who lists his profession as...
Read full storyThe Taylor Swift - Jake Gyllenhall Long-Distance Fairy Tale Relationship Has Finally Imploded
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift sat in her $1.2 million touring bus painting her toenails when she was asked by her bass guitarist how things were going between her and her beau Jake "The Snake" Gyllenhall. Taylor quickly corrected him by saying that Jak...
Read full storyHijack alert after pilot spills coffee on controls
It is hoped that, as a result of the recent panic, resulting in a plane's radio having sent out, accidentally, a hijack May Day, that people working with computerised systems will NOW heed the initial warning, which is: NO FOOD OR DRINKS NEAR...
Read full storyCupid to Replace Bow & Arrow with Shotgun
Rome - Love or else. That's the message Roman deity Cupid wants everyone to consider this Valentine's Day. The winged God is trading in his trademark bow and arrow for something more affective. "I can't hit s**t with a bow," Cupid admits. Poor...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof Sequel Chapter 13: Get Thee To A Nunnery! Or The Laughing Buddah Laughs Last!
Somewhere in the bowels of a medieval nunnery... "There, there now Marsha is a lovely name, so much better than Mark." "But you don't understand sister Margo, I'm not cut out to be a nun, I'm an....I'm an..." "Yes, go on my child.." "I'm an evil internet Spoof magazine editor! There, now you know. I'm very powerful back in London you know, they all fear me." "Oh my dear, you must no...
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