Astrologers warn of Kate Middleton wedding disaster ahead of troubling birthday aspects

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 6 January 2011

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Foolish social climber Kate's birthday chart spells disaster

London - (Portents): The royal wannabe and New Labour hoaxer's birthday on Sunday is riddled with disaster star gazers have warned.

An apocalyptic aspect between the Sun and Saturn on her Saturn Return anniversary will see Kate Middleton's gargantuan social climbing ambitions bite the dust.

The Capricorn/Libra clash takes place in Kate's twelfth house of deceptions and humbug, triggering seismic fault lines in the Middleton family's aspirations

"It's a scam alright," London astrologer Ann Dromeda commented today.

"That Saturn Return is a pivotal point in any zodiac chart and Kate's is no different.

"Only a fool could swallow that much crap."

Clarence House sources reacted swiftly, vehemently denying that 'Kate is a swallower'.

But London nightclub insiders insist Kate 'had to swallow' - at least once - in order to get her grubby mitts on that sapphire and diamond engagement ring.

Chelsy Davy is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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