Londoners frightened of "broom gang"
Following three nights of rioting in London, residents of the southern suburb of Clapham were shocked to see a gang rampaging through the streets in broad daylight. They carried brooms and dustpans and frightened locals by clearing the streets of...
Read full storyTalks with Arab leaders planned over riot tactics
In a reversal of policy Britain is altering its policies in the Middle East. President Assad is high on the list of those receiving friendly calls - talks are likely to follow where discussion on how to deal with rebels will be high on the agenda.
Read full storyUK judges sentence rioters to "six of the best" at local schools!
The UK rioters and looters who have been caught by the police are being fast-tracked through the courts because UK jails prisons are over-filled with the scum. The judges have decided on the perfect sentence for the naughty boys and girls being ca...
Read full storyRiots: An Analysis
Following the recent riots in London and across England, armchair experts have been spouting explanations and theories like flames from a burning building. So here, we gather the opinions of some real analysts to bring some sanity to the debate. Reverend Spongebob McTavish said, "They say everyone has a talent for something, and clearly these lads are great at smashing things up. Maybe someone...
Read full storyNew Weight Loss Diet Really Rocks!
Two American female journalists, caught illegally entering N. Korea from China, were released Tuesday after spending 4 months in a N. Korean prison. Ex-president Bill "Horndog" Clinton obtained the journalists release and obtained another 15 minutes...
Read full storyCongressional Clown Amendment to The U.S. Constitution
The Congressional Clown Amendment "If Congress acts like clowns; they shall dress like clowns" We, the people, hereby state that for decades U.S. elected politicians have spent all our money, passed too many stupid and restrictive regulations, interfered with our individual rights, liberties and freedoms, disregarded the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and governed badly and arroga...
Read full storyBullingdon Club Massive reasserts primacy over vile rival upstarts
London - In a packed House of Commons televised debate Bullingdon's renowned top dog spelled out surrender terms for the nation's feuding scum. "Not on my turf, sickos!" was PM Cameron's clarion call as the UK's No One gang leader reasserted his s...
Read full storyBody-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham
London - An MI6 codebreaker's copycat RIP fears have surfaced again with the grim discovery in some South London bushes. The find comes exactly one year after cryptographer Gareth Williams' unexplained death in a security service 'serviced' Pimlic...
Read full storyHackney Job Centre Untouched
Prime Minister David Cameron praises the bravery of Police Officers who helped protected besieged members of staff at Hackney Job Centre. "Words can not themselves express the feeling of gratitude I have for these brave officers who kept the Hack...
Read full storyPresident Jody McIntyre survives attempted coup
Just one day after sweeping to power in a self-styled popular revolution, Journalist/Political activist and now UK life President Jody McIntyre of the People's Well Massif Innit party has survived an attempted coup by members of his own army. The...
Read full storyApple to release Geordie products
Apple has announced a range of products designed especially for the people of Newcastle. The 'Why i' range will be available in the near future with the launch of 'why itunes' a music site devoted entirely to geordie artists such as Cheryl Cole, Jim...
Read full storyKaiser Chiefs: We knew this was going to happen
Kaiser Chiefs front man Ricky Wilson said today that in spite of long-term criticism about the band's predictions, they felt vindicated in the light of current events. "We've been saying for years that this was going to happen," he told reporters...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent Judge Sharon Osbourne Says That Piers Morgan Was Bitten By Gabe The Bulldog
HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne who does not care for fellow America's Got Talent Judge Piers Morgan says that "Mr. Pompous" as Morgan is known was in fact bitten by one of the shows contestants. And no it was not Kalani the basketball juggler that Pi...
Read full storyMan goes feral after only three days
I spent the afternoon sprawled out on the couch. My head rested on a cool, soft stack of pillows and my body was contorted much like that of the girl on page 60 of the magazine I kept underneath my mattress when I was a teenager. But it was comfortable. The television seemed to find its way from one sporting event to the other. Baseball games, UFC fighting, and even some bowling caught...
Read full storyRoseanne Barr Hints That She May Enter The Presidential Race
HONOLULU, Hawaii - When Roseanne Barr left the hustle and bustle of Tinsel Town and moved to Honolulu she had no idea that she would become the successful macadamia nut farmer that she has become. The 58-year-old Barr and her longtime boyfriend Jo...
Read full storyMickey Dolenz Explains Why The Monkees Had To Suddenly Cancel The Rest of Their British Concert Tour
LONDON - The Monkees first appeared on the television music scene back in 1966. And from the very beginning their half hour music-comedy show was a hit with America's teenagers. The show which took its inspiration from the Beatles movie Hard Days...
Read full storyOld Etonian toff was Tottenham looter
Two public school boys who took part in widespread looting have told friends on Facebook that the rioting was "Awesome" and have boasted about "getting freebies from rich tossers." The posh yobs, decked out in Cargo shorts and Birkenstocks, have...
Read full storyJustin Bieber: "I am not a brat..I"m Not, I'm Not, I'M NOT!!!"
Rumours and innuendoes continue to circle around Canadian Teen Idol Justin Bieber depicting the youthful pop star as "a precocious brat", a tag his premenstrual fans won't tolerate! After recent revelations of 'unruly' behaviour on the set of...
Read full storyNo riots in Scotland shock
Scotland: First Minister Alex Salmond today hit back at news agencies for describing the riots as English riots, the Scottish Premier was shocked to find out that no riots were going on in his beloved country, and has accused the media of an English...
Read full storyLooting Set To Become An Olympic Event in 2012
Following the finest display of looting seen in Britain for a generation, the International Olympic Committee is set to announce that looting will be a new event at the 2012 London Games. In preparation for its elevation to becoming an Olympic eve...
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