The Terms of The Mel Gibson - Oksana Grigorieva Settlement
LOS ANGELES - After a year and a half of back and forth bickering a settlement has finally been reached in regards to custody and financial claims and counterclaims between Mel Gibson, 55, and his ex-future wife the stunningly sexy Oksana Grigorieva,...
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Premiere of BBC Series on Prince Harry's Trip to Arctic to Cool His Libido - Frost Bite on Crown Jewels & Sleeps With an Eskimo's Whale
BBC's explosive new documentary aired tonight in Britain on the little ginger prince showing that this Royal Family member is anything but boring, after the snooze fest that was the Royal Wedding. American and Canadian royalists will get their own c...
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Study: There are no more pirates today than there were 200 years ago, BUT there are more pirate movies
A recent study released by Harfold State College confirms what many believed: the media has whipped us up into thinking that pirates have just recently come out of the woodwork. Similar to shark attacks, pirates have been around as long as there h...
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Usain Bolt false start overturned
Under the new rules governing the one hundred metres sprint has left the world's fastest man demanding a recount. Usain Bolt fell victim to the one false start rule which meant after just one supposed false start by Bolt, he was disqualified, losi...
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Lily Pond Lane resident's disgust at snooping Clintons
East Hampton, Long Island - "Anyone listing their boring-as-hell repro fireplaces as a property's top selling feature gotta be a nouveau riche asshole punting to the Clintons," Lily Pond Lane resident Dr Lamar Madison commented today as Tropical Stor...
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Europeans Leaders Angry American Hurricane Was Downgraded Leaving Millions of Their Citizens Disappointed
Millions of families anticipating chaos in the US around Irene cancelled arrangements and chose to stay at home so that they could watch all the devastation as it happened in New York and other American cities along the East Coast as hurricane Irene...
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Manchester Utd & City Spank North London Pair for Thirteen
On a harrowing day for north London football supporters, Manchester Utd and City put a total of 13 goals past Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur. Fabulously wealthy City went nap at Spurs, winning 5-1 but later in the afternoon Utd ripped an inexperien...
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Could Gaddafi come back as Libyan leader?
It would be the greatest political comeback since Nelson Mandela went from prison to president. Is it possible that Gaddafi could return from hiding to lead again the country he ruled for 40 years? Surveys have indicated that support for the depos...
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Irene pounds Jersey shore, but still not nearly as loud and obnoxious as Snooki
SEASIDE HEIGHTS, New Jersey--Hurricane Irene churned its way last night into the Jersey shore, knocking out power to thousands of residents holed up inside gaining protection from pounding winds. Still, the storm paled when compared to the average...
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West Ham Chanting Praised By Music Expert
The singing of West Ham fans during their nPower Championship football match against Nottingham Forest today has been praised by a top music expert. Hammers fans were in fine voice at Forest's City Ground as they watched their team take a 3-0 lead...
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A Dog's Dinner 'Fit For A Queen'
It seems now that a recent mix-up by kitchen staff at Buckingham Palace did not lead to The Queen feeding her beloved corgis Linnet, Monty, Willow, and Holly, reheated food as is still being reported by several British mainstream newspapers. Acco...
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QPR, Peter Crouch, a monkey and a giraffe
QPR are haggling with Tottenham to pick up a bargain Peter Crouch. Local lad Peter Crouch was given the moniker 'Rodney' by Rangers fans when he first displayed his lanky frame down Shepherd's Bush: "Crouchie was a dead ringer for Rodney Trotter fr...
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Dalglish admits in Andy Carroll he's bought a thick "headbutter" only good for "kick & Rush" (not Ian)!
Geordies and Scousers don't mix. And now, Scot manager Kenny Dalglish has admitted that Andy Carroll is a misfit "head-butting case" and can only be used for cracking nuts. The 24 million spent on Carroll last season seems peanuts compared to Man...
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Mongolian Astronaut Makes Moon Attempt
Mongolian Chuluun Borjigin will later today make the world's first attempt to fly a hot air balloon to the moon. The 78-year-old shepherd is Mongolia's only astronaut, having gained an interest in the subject of space after reading a book about M...
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Perry bills feds $349M for incarcerating "illegals"; Feds bill Perry $12 billion for being Texan
AUSTIN, Texas - Texas Gov. Rick Perry has asked the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for nearly $350 zillion to cover the costs he says Texas has incurred incarcerating Mexican-Americans in state prisons and county jails. In a letter to Homela...
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First Mandatory NYC Evacuation Ordered - New Yorkers Yawn; Clean Orderly City So Impressive Evacuation Now Extended to New Jersey
NEW YORK - The normally filthy streets emptied out and the mind-numbing roar of the subways came to a stop. Streets emptied until you could actually cross Broadway without taking out an insurance policy. NYC's famous kamikazi cab drivers were no wher...
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