Mickey Dolenz Explains Why The Monkees Had To Suddenly Cancel The Rest of Their British Concert Tour

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 11 August 2011

image for Mickey Dolenz Explains Why The Monkees Had To Suddenly Cancel The Rest of Their British Concert Tour
A stray monkey that Mickey Dolenz found, took home, and named Mr. Nesmith.

LONDON - The Monkees first appeared on the television music scene back in 1966. And from the very beginning their half hour music-comedy show was a hit with America's teenagers.

The show which took its inspiration from the Beatles movie Hard Days Night ran for two years after which the Monkees continued making millions by performing music concerts to sold out arenas and stadiums throughout the world.

Monkees drummer and vocalist Mickey Dolenz said that he actually learned how to sing "I'm A Believer" in seven different languages.

British member Davy Jones said that he wasn't very good at singing in other languages but that he was very good at math and he spent a lot of time adding up the tons and tons of money that the band was making.

Peter Tork, who played the bass guitar, quipped that they not only made money from concerts and records but from the sales of Monkees memorabilia such as T-shirts, lunch boxes, posters, bras, playing cards, and even condoms.

Dolenz grinned and said that at the height of their career the Paul Bunyan Condom Company began producing condoms with the pictures of the Monkees on them.

Tork acknowledged that the company made it abundantly clear that they were only to be used by individuals over the age of 18 and that violators would have their Monkees Fan Club membership cards immediately confiscated and they would also be banned from the fan club.

The fourth Monkee Michael "The Grouch" Nesmith did not participate in the British tour because he said that he was much too busy.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: A close friend of mine who happens to know Nesmith personally said that Michael was not the least bit busy, and that he just does not need the money because his mother left him and his sister $25 million each that she made from her invention of Liquid Paper. Reports are that she also may have invented Velcro, drink coasters, and Silly Putty.]

Jones said that at each Monkees concert a life-size poster of Michael Nesmith is set up on the stage and just before the band plays their last song, one lucky fan gets go up on stage and with a black Magic Marker draw whatever he or she wants on the Nesmith poster.

Dolenz was asked by Brompton Boxgrove, a reporter for United Kingdom's Tickety Boo News why the band was having to cancel their remaining concert dates.

Mickey shook his head and pointed out that Mr. Nesmith had become highly offended at the fact that fans were being encouraged by him, Davy, and Peter to deface his poster.

And so he had his attorney inform the Monkees tour manager that he would not allow the Monkees to continue performing using the name Monkees which he is one-fourth owner of.

He did let them know that if they wanted to continue with their concert tour that they would have to change the bands name to The Monkees Minus The Best Monkee of All Michael Nesmith.

Mickey said that the band would perform under the name The Kangaroo Droppings before they would do that.

And so The 2011 Monkees Concert Tour of England has come to a close due to a classic case of 'Monkee Business.'

In a related story. Peter Tork said that Nesmith is just angry because the band that he formed last year named The Michael Nesmith Petting Zoo Band put out one song and it only sold a grand total of 27 copies nationwide.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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