New Weight Loss Diet Really Rocks!

Written by Andrew Lawrence

Thursday, 11 August 2011

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Two American female journalists, caught illegally entering N. Korea from China, were released Tuesday after spending 4 months in a N. Korean prison. Ex-president Bill "Horndog" Clinton obtained the journalists release and obtained another 15 minutes of adoration and hero worship from the media for himself.

One of the female journalists had grown much thinner during her arrest and imprisonment, due to the food provided by prison officials. Out of the arrest and imprisonment of this journalist comes a dramatic new weight loss diet and a sure-fire cure for obesity.

The thin journalist, in describing the prison food she was given, revealed that her unappetizing and meager meals also contained rocks. Apparently, as N. Korea has little food to feed its people, they use rocks as food filler. Rocks have no calories and no nutritional value. But eating rocks can fool the stomach into thinking it's full. Full of rocks.

Thus, a new weight loss diet is born, the new guaranteed-to-lose weight N. Korean Diet, also known as the Rock Diet. The N. Korean Rock Diet is the new rage among Hollywood stars and starlets. Heiress Paris Hilton assures us, "It's huge!" Some Hollywood celebrities claim that they have lost 20 pounds in 10 days on a diet of rice and rocks. The Obama administration is considering mandating the Rock Diet for all overweight Americans saying, "It'll be good for Americans to eat rocks. Plus, we can tax it!"

Meanwhile, North Korea reports that exports of rocks are booming and expects to benefit from the billions of dollars in additional exports as Americans jump on the N. Korean Diet and flock to eat rocks. And the diminutive and demented N. Korean dictator, Kim Jung ILL, has seen his lifelong dream come true; now he's a rock star! Literally.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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