London's Burning! Riots Persist for Another Night
Prime Minister David Cameron has cut short his holiday abroad and is trying to book a flight back to the UK to take control of the serious situation in the capital where thousands of youths have seized control of the streets. The rampaging youth...Read full story
S&P: Worse than Italy! Obama Celebrates with' Bungle-Bungle' Pool Party!
Shortly after the S&P downgraded the US's bond rating, Obama pushed back by reaffirming his confidence in Treasury Secretary Tim "the taxman" Geithner at yet another White House Bungle-Bungle party featuring semi-nude interns, a former Miss Indon...Read full story
London Riots hit Richmond and Hampstead
London, UK: After several days of rioting across London that have seen police cars burning on the streets of Tottenham and shop windows smashed in Brixton, the violence has spread to the more leafy and sedate boroughs of Richmond and Hampstead. Ey...Read full story
Michelle Obama Reveals Some Very Personal Details About President Obama's 50th Birthday Party
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The nation's "First Mama" Michelle Obama spoke with a reporter with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue about her husband's recent 50th birthday party celebration which took place in the backyard of the White House. Miss Michelle,...Read full story
World Aid - A Concert for the planet
Bobby Geldorf has announced plans for a worldwide fund raiser for the world. Following the loss of trillions and trillions of pounds, presumably to aliens or by sheer carelessness, Sir Bobby aims to raise awareness of the worldwide recession. S...Read full story
Solar Flare to disrupt the President's and Congresses FICO credit ratings
Solar flares are nothing new to the world, and currently we are entering the 11 year cycle. NOAA commented that the solar peak will be in 2013, but our most recent one was massive enough to already cause damage. Scientists claim that the flare will...Read full story
USA Unfurls New Flag
The new National Flag of the United States was unveiled to a packed audience of international journalists during a press conference at the White House in Washington today. The new flag is the result of a 24 million dollar, five year study by an al...Read full story
Villa's Big Eck trapped in an office
Gary Lineker best known for his Golden Wonder adverts, the most recent one being one were he can't get rid of a hungry Lionel Ritchie. During the advert Lineker, rumoured to be on a contract of over one million pounds a year and free Golden Wonder cr...Read full story
Phone giant financial catastrophe averted
Phone giant Tangerine have reportedly received a writ from a local Glasgow business after a communications failure almost had disastrous consequences. The massive multi national communications company was warned, by a top lawyer, that it faced a l...Read full story
US not as good at borrowing money!
The financial world is reeling at the announcement that the US of A is not quite as good at borrowing money as it was yesterday. This surprise news comes just days after the US decided that it could borrow even more money by raising its debt ceili...Read full story
Heather will weather the storm
As fears grow about the world economy, the IMF In a dramatic u turn today has confirmed that it is once again in talks with self styled monetary guru, Romany Ron. Despite in statement issued less than three weeks ago where it expressed displeasure and even outlined the potential legal case against the former gypsy business man for laying 'a low quality and shoddy driveway' at its Washington DC hea...Read full story
China warns US: pay your debt or no more iPads
Beijing -- The government of China has officially called in all of the loans it has made to the United States, and has threatened to stop production of Apple's popular iPad tablet computer if the money is not repaid immediately. China's ultimatum...Read full story
Tight UK PM didn't tip Italian waitress, he claimed his cappuccino was cold!
UK prime minister, David Cameron is so tight that he left a Tuscany café without tipping the waitress and his excuse was, "the cappuccino's were cold!" Which was obviously a "porky pie" because Italian cappuccino's in Italy are never cold and the bes...Read full story
The Colours of Victory are Bright!
Scientists have found that in competitive games of team sports statistics show that the teams wearing light coloured strips do better in terms of winning matches compared to those teams wearing darker colours, with teams wearing mostly white doing th...Read full story
Epiphany! Boston Bishop: Now I Understand Why Jackie 'O' Stopped Coming to Confessions!"
Boston Cardinal Sean O'Malley, not be confused with the St. Louis Cardinal left fielder Jamal 'Bubba' O'Malley from Detroit, said today after hearing explosive excerpts of Jackie Kennedy Onassis's tell all tapes, he finally understands why she stop...Read full story
Sarah Palin Apologizes For Saying She Shot A Vampire
WASILLA, Alaska - The campaign manager and staff of the ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin are desperate to try and put her back into the national spotlight. In recent weeks fellow GOP female Michele "Hairspray" Bachmann has all but taken the focus...Read full story
Man U's Tommy 'Clever Clogs' Cleverley called up for England v Netherlands clash
Manchester - The 21 year-old Premiership midfielder impressed during his Club's 3-2 Community Shield drubbing of Manchester City on Sunday. His second half appearance was widely credited in setting up Nani's equaliser - and a crest-of-the-wave im...Read full story
Kirstie Alley To Host A New TV Game Show Called "They Weigh What?"
LOS ANGELES - NBC has a show called It's Worth What? and now not to be outdone ABC will be coming out with a new show called They Weigh What? The producers of the new show say that unlike the peacock network show their show will be exciting as it...Read full story
Semi-naked Worthing pensioners loot Oxfam shop
Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles of clothing, books and broken records strewn all...Read full story
Riots not what they used to be says Brixton veteran
London - An Electric Avenue veteran of SW2's April 1981 riots has spoken of his concerns as London-wide mayhem reached Brixton Market last night. Commenting on the violent flare-up semi-retired 'greengrocer' Stanley Aikliss said market turmoil was...Read full story
Jackie 's Big "O"! Secret Hacking Tapes Tell How She Got Even With JFK by Shagging Around!
Former First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis, has come back from the grave after it's been revealed her daughter will be releasing never before heard tapes discovered during an investigation of a monumental phone hacking scheme from 1963! The...Read full story
West Ham's Uncle Sam in Trouble
A crisis torn world looked towards Uncle Sam to solve its problems but it appears Sam has problems. We should not judge Sam Allardyce and West Ham on one home defeat but it is pretty painful none the less. Uncle Sam had a good team at his disposal...Read full story
Rooney sizzles, Nani dribbles & City crumbles!
It was the "Good, the Bad and the Ugly" yesterday at Wembley: The Good were Man United showing the footy world that Sir Alex, even at 70, has got his head screwed on as United run rings around Man City! The Bad was Man City, a bunch of collective...Read full story
Getting Ready for Work in 1959 Nottingham
This article was sent in by an ancient old fart from Nottingham, in the UK. It describes his getting up in the morning, and the procedures and efforts required then to get ready for work! 0530hrs: The body stirs, and I dig my self out from the 140lb of bedclothes and greatcoats covering my body. I adjust the flat cap on my head, and scrape away some the ice on the inside of the windows. Light a...Read full story
Gray-Hooded Gull at Coney Island: First Interview
It's a bird, it's a plane . . . No, it IS a bird after all. One rarely seen in the U.S. And it's been spotted hanging out in Brooklyn, New York -- at Coney Island. Your correspondent, who is fluent in bird talk, met up with the sought-after seagull late at night on the beach, offered to share some Nathan's Famous French Fries with him, and was able to score an interview. Scoop of a lifetime!...Read full story
LeAnn Rimes Has Gotten So Damn Skinny Her Husband Can Use Her As A Swizzle Stick To Stir His Drinks
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Okay, when country singer LeAnn Rimes was weighing 78 that was thin, but now that she has gotten down to 63, that is just downright skinny as hell. And it appears that Rimes definitely has all of the earmarks of being anor...Read full story
After Eight Seasons "Desperate Housewives" Will Be Ending With A Great Big Bang
HOLLYWOOD - The housewives of Wisteria Lane will become even more desperate as they enter the final season of the hit show Desperate Housewives. The shows producer Marc Cherry said that he does not want to give away too much of the upcoming season...Read full story
Sarah Palin Not Worried About The Mass Exodus of Tea Bag Party Members
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin has admitted privately that her Nationwide Bus Tour did not generate anywhere near the turnout that she and her campaign strategists and advisors had hoped. She said that the media really hammered her on her lack of g...Read full story
Restaurant Threesome - Hooters, IHOP, KFC
Threesome Anyone? A major consolidation in the restaurant chain industry was announced this week. The three restaurant chains of Hooters, IHOP and KFC will merge and be transformed under one roof. The new restaurant name will be "International Ho...Read full story