Body-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 11 August 2011


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NOT the suspects, these Lewisham pensioners were spotted near the crime scene

London - An MI6 codebreaker's copycat RIP fears have surfaced again with the grim discovery in some South London bushes.

The find comes exactly one year after cryptographer Gareth Williams' unexplained death in a security service 'serviced' Pimlico flat.

Government codebreaker Williams had been found stuffed inside a North Face sports holdall clutching a key to the bag's outer padlock.

This morning's Lewisham discovery was described as an unidentified five foot tall male whose skeletal remains inside a brown windsurfing bag had been dumped near the road during the last few days.

"There are no indications whatsoever at this stage that it's another spook," local true crime expert Arthur Codd told reporters at lunchtime.

"Still, body-in-the-bag syndrome is a much copied classic and speaks volumes about tidy disposal techniques."

The mystery cadaver, dressed in a suit, was described as having been tied up inside the bag which was spotted by local dog walkers yesterday morning.

Lewisham remains in the front line of heavy policing following riot eruptions last weekend.

"Someone might be sending the cops a bit of a message, like," Codd continued.

"Wanna hear my theory about the phone hacking mess?"

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