CAUSES. INC, a Revolution in business?
A new entrepreneurial business has just been launched by Cardinal De Germain in New York. Many metropolitan VIPs from business and entertainment including Donald Trump were present. It is a new type of consultancy firm explained its appointed CEO...
Read full storyWill And Kate Talk Baby Names
London, England - The happy couple revealed they've already picked out names for their future offspring and can hardly wait to share it with the world. These two are conservative types, but they also are part of a new world and want their chi...
Read full storyCruise, Travolta To Buy Roman Coliseum
Rome, Italy - Two of the biggest names in Hollywood are purchasing the famous Roman Coliseum. Tom Cruise and John Travolta stumbled across the building purely by accident while vacationing with their families. Cruise says, "At first, we didn't know what the heck it was. I just thought it was a big, rundown place. A fixer upper. It looks like a lot of the tear downs in Beverly Hills...
Read full storyBritney Spears Caught Exiting Out Of A Car With Underwear On!
BEVERLY HILLS - In an amazing turn of events regarding one of the most prolific expousers of the paparazzi phenomenon that has come to be known as 'Upskirt' shots, or as they refer to it up in Oregon, 'Beaver' shots Britney Spears was photographed ex...
Read full storyPrince Upset To Learn On Wedding Night That Kate Isn't A Virgin
Prince William was unhappy to learn on his wedding night that his bride, Kate Middleton, was not a virgin. From the lobby pub of a local hotel, he complained vocally to other drinkers about his wedding night blues. He told one one group of men wi...
Read full storyDoctors Attempt To Cure Surgically Remove Serious Inflection From President
Barack Obama was rushed by ambulance to Walter Reed Medical Center this morning with what has been described as "a serious inflection of the throat." Medical doctors from Johns Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic have all been called in for a consultation t...
Read full storyObama Movie Rentals Leaked
Vienna, Austria - A deep insider at TwixFlix movie rentals has leaked the past three years of President and Michelle Obama's favorite flicks. President Obama apparently and allegedly rented movies under the code name "Mr. Kenya". His top...
Read full storyNewlyweds to consummate marriage in Princess Diana Fountain moonlight skinnydip
London - The pre-nuptial trip to 'lay some flowers' at Diana's Althorp burial mound raised some eyebrows earlier when the dishevelled couple eventually emerged from the Spencer island mausoleum. Tonight a Buckingham Palace tip-off reckoned the new...
Read full story'Anonymous' £113m EuroMillions jackpot winner 'rumored to be Kate's father Michael Middleton'
London - Secrecy shrouds the identity of last October's staggering EuroMillions jackpot ticket-holder who plumped for anonimity when trousering the dosh. But the rumor was all the rage inside Buckingham Palace's gilded walls this afternoon as gues...
Read full storyPippa Middleton physically shuddered when somebody suggested Harry
Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Windsor, nee Middleton, physically shuddered when it was suggested that now her big sister had landed a prince, she should go for a prince too, and snaffle Prince Harry. "Dirty Harry?" she was overheard replying. "I...
Read full storyNew York Times To Limit All News Articles To Five Words
New York City, NY - The NY Times has announced that from now on, their news articles will contain no more than five words. Editor Jimmy Choo says, "With texting and IM'ing and everybody so busy these days, we just don't think it's cost effect...
Read full storyBullish Peslier to swoop home on Native Khan
Newmarket - 'Glue factory fodder' is how the French former champion jockey dismissed rival contenders in Saturday's 2,000 Guineas. Olivier Peslier, who rides Craven Stakes winner Native Khan in Newmarket's first classic of the season, is said to b...
Read full storyMedia coverage of the Royal Wedding "adequate"
The television coverage of the Royal Wedding began five hours prior to the wedding, and continued for the rest of the day across just about every channel. Such was the scrabbling for angles that hadn't already been covered that the channels were s...
Read full storyNow Married, Prince William Leaves Behind Trail Of Broken Hearts
With the royal nuptials a done deal, biographer Kitten Lee Kelly has compiled a "tell all" list of the women who have been loved and left by the dashing, very tall Prince. Here's a sneak peek of who they are! Drekka di Beckwith of Pukeingham Sissy Maplethorpe Gagwith BellaWhammy Luttonfield Buttlebumster Fecka Feckless Peckerface Pippi Longstockingswishingham Tippie TylerCa...
Read full storyThe British Public Will Be Royalist says Police Superintendent
Britain has today been declared a no-go area at the occasion of the Royal Wedding of William to Catherine Middleton. Thousands of tourists and native well wishers descended onto the Capital in order to nosey at the couple and distinguished guests and...
Read full storyDonald Trump Now Wants To See A Copy Of President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama's Marriage License
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump who has suddenly become the GOP front runner for the 2012 presidential campaign is not content with having seen President Obama's birth certificate. The man known simply as "The Hairdo" now wants to see the president a...
Read full storyLionel Messi Anagram Found!
Barcelona's Lionel Messi scored two late goals as his team eventually wore down the resistance of fellow Spaniards Real Madrid in their Champions League semi-final first leg last night. Messi was the difference between the two sides in a bad-tempe...
Read full storySearch Engine Crashes After Royal Wedding
A popular search engine has crashed after millions of people worldwide entered search terms pertaining to the royal wedding. The internal records of the company were released today which has begged people to stop repeatedly entering the following phrases and/or words: " Princess Grace ripoff copycat wedding dress" "snippy + dry + + kiss" " Chelsy , Chelsy, Chelsy! Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!"...
Read full storyIn the Light of the Moon
The following story actually a true story. The story is pretty accurate and has really no exagerations in it at all. Well, except for the moon being seen in the suburbs of Washington DC, that is. It began on an early spring's shimmering night Shortly after the witches, on their blue brooms took flight. There was Bill and Bat and me at the start, Playing cards and eating fried chicken a...
Read full storyJournalists to defy super injunctions
The recent spate of super injunction gagging orders are being defied, and several journalists have decided to ignore these bits of paper obtained from injunction-issuing Justice Sue Mai-Ass, who incidentally wears a very strange wig in court and exp...
Read full storyI Didn't Go
Although I am Spoof's new Royal Correspondent I didn't get around to going to the Wedding. I missed out on the TV as well. But I am now all in favour of these larks. The supermarket carpark was almost empty during the morning and in the store all the usual riff-raff were missing. There was also a noticeable absence of mad people. We raced around the store, had no waiting at the cash till and...
Read full storySome royal bridesmaids dubbed pug-ugly freaks
London - "You shouldn't call them freaks," protocol watchers seethed with ire as little Grace Van Cutsem and Lady Louise Windsor performed in public today. Yet it's hard to find kind words to describe some of the inbreds at today's royal gravy tra...
Read full storyHuw Edwards Royal Wedding Commentary Hospitalises Thousands
BBC commentator and Royal correspondent Huw Edwards was today blamed by NHS officials for a massive upsurge in hospital admissions with people suffering from severe cases of nausea, stomach cramps, and the screaming shits. Apparently, Huw's fawnin...
Read full storyNew royal title sees William named after notorious East End pub
London - Some patrons at the Duke of Cambridge public house on Whitechapel Road were too arseholed to notice it, of course. But barman Dave Skagliss was the first to point out to TV reporters today that it's a sign of new-found respectability for...
Read full storyRoyal Wedding Makes Impact on First Family; Michelle Orders Carriage!
White house spokesman James Corny (sic) said Michelle Obama found the Royal Wedding so moving, so emotional, and so stirring, she has demanded the President order a carriage....and hats, lots of hats...and a uniform...with a sword! Speaking off...
Read full storyPippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage
London - "At this stage we simply don't know if they're surgical implants," one ogler commented, "or polystyrene slip-ins, part of some designer thong. "Still, it's the only sartorial topic on most blokes' minds, like, watching Pip sashay up the A...
Read full storyRoyal Wedding - Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Sent To McDonald's Drive Thru As Guests Scoff The Lot
Newsflash - Socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has just been sent from Buckingham Palace in the Royal landau to pick up a takeaway order from a drive-thru McDonald's in Neasden. Reports coming in, appear to suggest that the Royal Wedding guests have...
Read full storyNoddy Holder Criticises Prince William's Wedding Socks
Noddy Holder, former frontman with Bilston based international supergroup, Slade today reacted angrily at what he called Prince William's appalling choice of Royal Wedding hosiery. "Them was just plain black!" Noddy Holder fumed. "What a blinkin'...
Read full storyAfter Court Ruling, NFL Decides to Lock Out the Fans Instead of the Players
After having some time to get over the smarting of losing a court battle to lockout all of the NFL players, the NFL owners have instead decided to lock out all of the NFL fans instead. "We are going to make sure that no fans show up for any NFL ga...
Read full storyChicharito and Shakira Have Been Invited By Queen Elizabeth To Stay With Her and Prince Philip At Balmoral Castle
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth has stated that she is thrilled that all of the planning for the Royal Wedding is finally behind her. The queen who just turned 85, and her husband Prince Philip who will turn 90, on June 10 both decided that it would be a...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Says Goodbye To Casey "The Growler" Abrams
HOLLYWOOD - And suddenly there were cinco (5) singers left on American Idol as Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest told the standing room only crowd at The American Idol Theater in Hollywood. This weeks Bottom Three saw Jacob "Ebenezer Baptist" Lusk, Scotty "...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Hacking Scandal Latest
Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has confirmed on social networking site Twitter, that he has been interviewed by police investigating the sensational News of the World phone-hacking scandal. It's believed that Rooney has elected...
Read full storyDonald Trump States That The Fact That He Forced President Obama To Reveal His Birth Certificate Means That He Should Be The Next President
DOVER, Delaware - Donald "Mr. Hairdo" Trump has claimed victory by saying that he has accomplished what Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Sarah Palin, and Chuck Norris couldn't and that is to get President Barack Obama to release his birth...
Read full storyAfter Watching Sultry Playmate Kendra Wilkinson's Sexy Dance Routine On 'Dancing With The Stars' Hugh Hefner Confesses He Wants Her Back!
HOLMBY HILLS - Hugh Hefner who is a big fan of the reality show Dancing With The Stars recently revealed to his maid that watching his ex-girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson's last sexy dance performance made him realize exactly how much he misses her. A...
Read full storyRoyal Wedding Was Planned With Hitler In Mind
It's here! At last, after all the months of build-up and nervous excitement, the day of the Royal Wedding of Prince William and his beautiful bride Kate Middleton has finally arrived, and not before time! Or, as some might say, one day before time...
Read full storyThe Pebble with a red streak - Part II
The boy had no choice but to descend the mountain and go home. In fact, he was a dead man walking. His soul was traumatized. He felt like a lost puppy. How could he ever talk, walk or mix with other boys? Naturally, the society, if learned about his being raped, would treat him like dirt. He knew his rapist would soon start blackmailing him, including repeated yielding or otherwise he would th...
Read full storyMost Benefit Claimants Fit To Work
The Coalition Government has claimed that three quarters of people who claimed sickness benefit were fit to work. Ian Duncan Smith, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, claimed that "anyone who is fit enough to make their way to the local job...
Read full storyBBC To Screen Baby's First Taste of Grapefruit
A baby's first taste of grapefruit is to be screened by the BBC later on this year as part of a series about the life cycle of the human body. Scientists have advised that it is "important not to shy away from talking about unpleasant early human...
Read full storyRoyal Wedding Invites Rescinded
Behind the scenes drama threatened the Royal Wedding today with the news that some guests' invitations were withdrawn at the last minute on the grounds that it would have been "inappropriate for them to attend". The Uruguayan Ambassador to the UK...
Read full storyDyke Woman, Feminized Man to Replace Superman as New American Heroes
Today, after Action Comics announced that Superman will no longer be an American Citizen, their rival, Dysfunctional Comics announced the creation of two new American superheroes which they believe will be much more beneficial to today's American soc...
Read full storyRare Andy Warhol Painting Of Susan Boyle Found
Philadelphia - An unnamed auction house in Pennsylvania says they have found a lithograph by Andy Warhol of Subo in a bank vault. The discovery has rocked the art and singing world. Art critics world wide have said it's utterly beside the point t...
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