Today, after Action Comics announced that Superman will no longer be an American Citizen, their rival, Dysfunctional Comics announced the creation of two new American superheroes which they believe will be much more beneficial to today's American society than Superman.
"Superman is just so old and out of date", said Jenny Slug, the President and CEO of Dysfunctional Comics. "I mean, who wants a strong male role model in the US? Especially one that is not gay or feminized".
"When we heard that Superman was denouncing his US citizenship, we felt that this was a great time to unleash more modernized superheroes like Dyke Woman and Feminized Man who are more reflective of the US society".
Jenny Slug went on to explain that Dyke Woman is the ultimate defender of feminism and is against anything that is supported by non-feminized heterosexual American men. She is a mild mannered dominatrix at day and a superhero at night. Once off work, she immediately dons her tight leather outfit which has a large dildo in a trap-on. Whenever she finds non-feminized heterosexual men breaking the law of feminism, she uses her huge dildo to pound feminism into them. Her goal is to make sure that every American man is either gay or feminized.
Seeing the current state of the US today, many believe that her tenure will be quite short.
Dyke Woman has various super hero powers that all mimic Superman's except for the fact that she has a special built in mind sensor that can pick up any anti-feminist thoughts from hundreds of miles away.
Feminized Man, on the other hand, has absolutely no super powers what so-ever. He is a stay at home dad who spends his days cleaning the house, taking care of his wife's kids and running errands, all while being dressed in a French Maid's outfit and carrying a feather duster.
His wife, needless to say, is also a dominatrix.
When he is allowed to leave the house, which is usually at times when his wife has brought one of her slaves home for a session, he runs out into the world dressed as he is with the added exception of a black eye mask to conceal his identity.
He then accosts any man who he feels is non-feminized and starts shaking his feather duster into his face yelling: "Meanie, meanie, meanie", over and over again until the guy succumbs to his taunting or just simply punches his lights out.
Needless to say, Feminized Man gets his lights punched out a lot.
What is really kind of odd about the whole thing is that none of Feminized Man's neighbors can recognize Feminized Man when he has the mask on.
While there has been no official announcement, it is rumored that Hillary Clinton has made it known that she wants to be the official spokeswoman for Dysfunctional Comics.
