Written by queen mudder

Friday, 29 April 2011

image for New royal title sees William named after notorious East End pub
Inside the East End boozer

London - Some patrons at the Duke of Cambridge public house on Whitechapel Road were too arseholed to notice it, of course.

But barman Dave Skagliss was the first to point out to TV reporters today that it's a sign of new-found respectability for the notorious East End hostelry.

"Years ago it used to be called The Blind Beggar," he said, "where Kray twin Ronnie blasted George Cornell with a sawn-off shotgun.

"But that's all behind us now.

"And thanks to Mrs Thatcher it's been upgraded to the Duke of Cambridge."

The pub's festive bunting was bathed in sunshine this morning as locals marvelled at the royal honor that bestowed the moniker on the newly groom and his bride.

"Hopefully Wills and Kate will feel free to pop in for a pint or two," Skagliss added.

"We've rebranded our cocktails list specially for today's nuptials.

"Anybody for a Slow Comfortable Royal Screw, eh?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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