New York Times To Limit All News Articles To Five Words

Funny story written by Honey West

Friday, 29 April 2011

image for New York Times To Limit All News Articles To Five Words
News Should Be Geared To Modern Readers

New York City, NY - The NY Times has announced that from now on, their news articles will contain no more than five words.

Editor Jimmy Choo says, "With texting and IM'ing and everybody so busy these days, we just don't think it's cost effective to have articles longer than the five word limit. We've found that most people don't read beyond the first letter of the first word, at most."

Mr. Choo feels that most of the big concepts of our modern world can be conveyed within five words, such as "Global warming is bad", "Where was President Obama born?" "Find cheap Broadway tickets fast!", and many more important things.

The five word limit may be reduced if readers complain that there's too much news to wade through. He's confident the newspaper can adjust to the changing times.

"I think we can easily go down to 1-2 words with very little loss of information. That's really all people need to know anyway."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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