Emergency G8 Summit Declares US Dollar "Unattractive"
GENEVA -- Virtually all G8 Summit Members and guest nation representatives meeting in Geneva earlier this week declared the plummeting US dollar "unattractive."...
Read full storyHillary is Not Qualified to Be President
Live Free or Die, NH - The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) claims it has obtained records, through the Freedom of Information Act, that Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton was not born in the United States.
Read full storyBritish Gas Call Centres Stink!
The industry monitor Energywatch has predicted that during 2008 British Gas is gearing up to maintain it's record for the smelliest call centre's ever.
Read full storyBush Ad-libs, Declares War on War
Excerpt from 3/8 off the cuff remarks to the Georgian Republican Women's Caucus:...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Ordered Execution of "Osama bin Puppy"
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush has revealed that he himself ordered the execution of "Osama bin Puppy," the heinous terrorist mastermind and former CIA dog responsible for planning the 911 attacks.
Read full storyMars Candies Claim, "More Fun"
Representatives from the Mars Candies Division held a press conference yesterday to announce the companies release of it's new, "Fun Size", candy bars. Our entire candy bar line will be sold in the new fun size bars. 8 fun size bars wi...
Read full storyMargaret Thatcher "Stll Alive"
Margaret Thatcher, the crone-faced former Prime Minister, is still alive after being rushed into hospital last night. Doctors say it's nothing less than a miracle that she ever became head of the...
Read full storyA New Offshoot of Christianity Discovered.
It appears that there is yet another branch of Christianity out in the world. Reports indicate that this sect is quite similar to born again Christianity. According to recent studies, Christianity, has seeped into another, seemingly unrelated, activi...
Read full storyDaylight Savings Time Rules Change
Washington, DC (IPP) - The US Naval Observatory (USNO) has made some substantial changes to the Daylight Savings Time requirements this year. The new change in the rules have created a more comprehensive set of rules for citizens to follow.
Read full storySmoking Ban Forces Smokers to Go To Hell.
It has become apparent that by the time everything is all said and done, smokers will only have one place to go. Oh, sure we could make for a mass immigration to other countries, but America is like a woman, she will force everyone to see her point of view. Which means eventually, just to shut her up, all the other countries will ban smoking as well. That means the only safe place left for us smok...
Read full storyAttributes of Real Men
This is a new series that explores the attributes and character of real men.
Read full storyAfistfullofdollars challenges Kauto Star/Denman Gold Cup exhibition match
Cheltenham - (Lasix Mess): The Clint Eastwood-owned 50/1 shot wonderhorse Afistfullofdollars could be the surprise upset in Friday's Cheltenham Gold Cup romp to glory between odds-on favortite Kauto Star and top Irish contender...
Read full storyBrunei's Prince Jefri Archer behind Syrian gambler's Iran Scareforce One shambles
Royal Courts of Justice - (Rioters): Brunei's top mobster Prince Jefri Archer is the top suspect in the latest twist over Iran's Scareforce One saga.
Read full storyTripp-shot artist hoped for eagle
Tripp Isenhour was awarded a PGA Tour card after hitting a "one-in-a-million" golf shot that killed a protected hawk this week.
Read full storyUSDA takes over the DEA's Job
In what appeared to many to be a cruel irony, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) was assigned the task of handling the Drug Enforcement Administration's cases and the DEA will now regulate the dairy industry.
Read full storySunderland Pigeon Cree Under Threat
Pigeon Fanciers from around the country flock to visit the Ryhope Pigeon Cree now a Grade 2 Listed Building built in the early Fifties by miners with wood from the pits transported to this spot their by hardy Carrier Pigeons.
Read full storyRenault Refutes Clio Bonnet Hazard
Thousands of Renault Clio 2 owners have complained to Renault about the unexpected opening of the Clio bonnet whilst driving.
Read full storyDwain Chambers To Compete With Disabled Athletes
Dwain Chambers, the able-bodied drug-guzzling sprinter, has caused controversy in the athletics world, by expressing his intention to race against disabled athletes at an event in Paris
Read full storyRevealed Cleavage
Jimmy Carter, the champion of human rights, under whose auspices innumerable number of people throughout the 3rd world willingly sacrificed their lives to prove his righteousness, in his November 1976 interview with a glossy magazine said, "…I'm tempted and Christ set some almost impossible standards for us. The Bible says,' Thou shalt not commit adultery.' Christ said...
Read full storyTripp Isenhour makes a Birdie…die! PGA Tour golfer makes endangered species Par for the Course and now may become a jailbird himself
Orlando, Florida - Golf Pro, Tripp Isenhour, decided to make a red-shoulder hawk, a protected species on the endangered list, par for the course last December, according to court documents. Back then, Isenhour was in the middle of taping a TV show ca...
Read full storyClinton Proclaims: "I am NOT a monster"
At a press conference earlier this evening, presidential contender Hillary Clinton proclaimed herself to be, "not a monster, monster-like, or in any way related to monsters (with the possible exception of Bill who is, to be fair, merely a predat...
Read full storyUrban renewal to raze Duke's Krzyzewskiville
DURHAM -- In news with an ironic twist, just days after being voted the Most Expensive Place to Live in America, according to an analysis by the management consulting firm Runzheimer International, Krzyzewskiville finds itself high on the list of nei...
Read full storyUNC's Doherty to be awarded Duke's Spire
DURHAM -- At the halftime of the Duke-Carolina men's basketball game, Duke University will award its highest non-academic honor, the Spire Award, which recognizes those who make the significant contributions "to improving the aesthetics of t...
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