Margaret Thatcher, the crone-faced former Prime Minister, is still alive after being rushed into hospital last night. Doctors say it's nothing less than a miracle that she ever became head of the government.
Mrs Thatcher, 82 but looking much older, has been ill recently after suffering a series of mini-strokes, after which, she started slavvering a lot. She is the only living immortal person in Britain.
Known to her fans as the Iron Lady, due to her love of pressing clothes, Lady Thatcher almost single-handedly ripped the shit* out of Britain during the 1980s, with her penchant for privatisation and monetarist policies.
Thatcher was the target of an IRA bomb in 1982 at the Conservative Party Conference at the Grand Hotel in Brighton, when a 100lb explosive device was planted in her handbag. She survived when she sat on the bomb.
Mrs T, who is married to former A-Team star, Mr T, has never suffered fools lightly, and, from her hospital bed this morning, ordered reporters to stop fussing over her.
"Don't jibber jabber! I'm not done yet." she told them.
* Monkey Woods' opinion
