Harris Hawks Released in London Stations to Slaughter Pigeons
A new spectator sport has emerged in the capital today as dozens of hardened Harris Hawks were released to commit carnage in train stations all over London.
Read full storyAsk Jesus! Episode #02
This is an occasional series of problems posed to renowned idiot, Jesus Budda. Armed only with a cheap tattered copy of a popular psychology manual and plenty of time to waste writing crap, Jesus will guide you through the trials and tribulations of theSpoof life's up's and downs.
Read full storyBoring Man Bores Everybody With Another Boring Speech
The world's most boring man, Kevin Brown has once again talked a load of complete bollocks to delegates at the 75th annual accountants awards.
Read full storySoldiers Strip Off in Norway Bar and Receive Complaints
Shocked Ministry of Defence officials were today left reeling after several British Commando's went completely commando in a bar and patrons actually complained.
Read full storyClintons Claim More Experience than Obama in Answering Phones at 3:00am; Reflect on Hillary's "Lifetime of Experience"
Columbus, Ohio -- Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, whilst canvassing the state of Texas this week, dropped a brand new television add bolstering her "lifetime of experience" in answering telephones at 3:00am. "I cannot tell you how many time...
Read full storyScientist: Parallel Universe Exists; is "Nothing Special"
Chloe Dartignard of the Stockholm institute for quantum studies, confirmed today that a parallel universe does exist, but it's a lot like ours.
Read full storyExotic Dancer-turned-Lawsuit Litigant makes Forbes' 100 Wealthiest Americans List
Just 6 years ago Randi Wadsworth was a down-on-her-luck exotic dancer. She spent her meager nightly earnings on stress-reducing cigarettes, performance enhancing breast implants and, later, Vioxx to fight chronic ankle pain from hours on high heels.
Read full storyOnce Upon a Time....
Once upon a time, in a land across the street, lived a little bastard Timothy McFeet.
Read full storyNBA Unvails Plan To Curb Spiraling Reputation
March 4, New York-Shots rang out at Madison Square Garden in New York City last night in what nba officials are calling a "Crack down on the league's growing thuggish reputation, " said officials.
Read full storyJersey graves and crime witnesses 'just BBC's Bergerac TV series props' says church
St Martin, Jersey - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The church has said that gravesites next to the Haut de la Garenne house of horrors are probably just props from the BBC's 1980s hit police series Bergerac 'along with all the 200+ so-called...
Read full storyBrett Favre Comes Out of Retirement After Only One Day, Signs Longterm Contract With Bears
Just one day after announcing his retirement, the NFL's all-time touchdown, completion, and interception leader has announced that he is coming out of retirement.
Read full storyCock-up at Svalbard
(Spitzonfloor, Norway): "Well that just about freaking tears it!" stated Olaff Yonderhozen, head of the Norwegian Ministry of Frozen Food at a hastily called news conference after being informed by the Svalbard Global Seed Bank Mangers that...
Read full storyPoor Dick's Almanac Tries to Continue
Many estates are spent in the getting, since women for tea forsook spinning and knitting, and men for punch forsook hewing and splitting. Now, women return to spinning and men love hoeing again. What maintains one vice would bring up two children...
Read full storyCash Cab Spin Off Brings Vice Squad - Again and Again!
TV surprise hit show, Cash Cab where unsuspecting though rather rehearsed-looking passengers board a NYC cab and end up on a quiz show has captivated audiences for months now.
Read full storyGay American Idol naked photos published on internet
Cyberspace - (Bare Faced Cheek Mess): Gay American Idol semi-finalist David Hernandez's nude lapdancing photos have flooded the net after appreciative fans from Phoenix's Dick's Cabaret & Strip Club mounted a spirited ca...
Read full storyPrince Harry a fine example of British Youth arrives home to nothing short of Scandalous Reporting
Prince Harry has just returned from Helmand Province, Afghanistan from where he has been serving on the front line of the British Army facing the Taliban, one of the most ferocious foes on this planet.
Read full storyEconomy tumbles, sports writers take the fall
Rising gas prices and a tight economy have caused businesses to close or layoff workers, but the situation became even more dire on Tuesday when the nation's sports writers realized that their travel budgets and expense allowances have been slash...
Read full storyMonkey denies machete attack
Monkey, the popular face behind the PG Tips campaign has denied attacking Municipal worker Gary Shaver and severing his ear.
Read full storyEntire Town Arrested for Failing Drug Test
Micanopy, Florida (IPP) - The entire town of Micanopy was given a drug test by Federal authorities and the Town failed the test.
Read full storyTrombonists scientifically proven to be missing part of their brain
After extensive mental and physical study scientists released yesterday that they have discovered that trombonists are mentally deficient. while this has long been believed to be true by many brass band members across the world, scientists felt the...
Read full storyInternet Operation While Intoxicated Arrests Up
Washington, DC (IPP) - The number of arrests for internet operation while intoxicated (IOWI) violations has gone up dramatically since the law was first enacted one year ago. The law is unsual because it is the first law ever enacted universally by...
Read full storyBjork To Be New Artistic Adviser For Beijing Olympic Games
Well-known Communist, Bjork, has been hailed by officials in China as a Superwoman, and will take over the Artistic Adviser post vacated recently by Steven Spielberg.
Read full storyHaut de la Garenne: army probes IRA links to Jersey's Hohlgangsanlage 8 Nazi Underground Hospital
St Helier, Jersey - (Third Reich Mess): The Ministry of Defence has sent in a crack team of excavation specialists to the Haut de la Garenne children's home.
Read full storyBritney Spears Applies For Barack Obama Masseuse Job
Britney Spears, the washed-up pop princess, has astounded her fans by applying to the office of hopeful Presidential candidate Barack Obama, for a role within the administration described as "masseuse&qu...
Read full storyAdolf Hitler "Totally Blameless" Says Astrologer
Adolf Hitler, the well-known Taurean, was an innocent bystander and "not responsible for the atrocities he committed during the Second World War", says a leading astrologer who has studied...
Read full storyHow to stay safe in the world today
Statistically speaking, death is an unavoidable reality - it can strike 100% of humans, anywhere and at any time.
Read full storyUS Coast Guard poised to pounce as Charles starts Caribbean crack cruise
Trinidad - (AssoCIAted Mess): It's a sting. That's the official verdict as pointless Pretender to the Throne Prince Charles and his gargoyle fag hag Camilla start a ten day crack-dealing Caribbean cruise in the Prince Jefri Archer-owned 300...
Read full storyDavid Tennant - Not Human!
It has sensationally emerged that David Tennant, popular in his role of "The Doctor" in "Doctor Who", is NOT human and his role as "The Doctor" was so well played, because he actually is a "Time Lord."...
Read full storyNew Feng Shui redesigned slaughterhouse touted as more humane
Chino, California - With the not so subtle application of a sledgehammer between brown eyes just before lights out, the memory of a free forklift ride to the killing room floor still lingering in the synapses, the newly rediscovered humane commute on...
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