Written by Jeff Brone

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

image for Scientist: Parallel Universe Exists; is "Nothing Special"

Chloe Dartignard of the Stockholm institute for quantum studies, confirmed today that a parallel universe does exist, but it's a lot like ours.

Dartignard said the alternate universe was kind of like ours and "not really worth bothering with." She added "The people are kind of like us, things happen the same way, and even the restaurants are the same." She added "For example, there's a Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood that I like. In the alternate universe, that restaurant is about the same. The General Tso's chicken is a bit better, but the fried flounder isn't as good. Big deal! Oh, and they have spring rolls instead of egg rolls."

Dartignard said that she and her fellow scientists had "high hopes for the other universe" and that "they imagined that there would be more exciting possibilities, but it just hasn't panned out."

Some of the scientists dreamed about "beings similar to humans, but with enhanced powers or even extra senses." It seems that the scientist hoped to learn from the beings, but it looks like, according to Dartignard, that the inhabitants of the parallel universe "kind of hang around and watch TV a lot. They have all the diseases we have and haven't found cures for them. They even have a particular problem with nosebleeds, which isn't really a special power, and they're crazy about a show called 'Deal or Not a Deal.' Strangely enough, Howie Mandel is in that too."

Dartignard hasn't given up, and asserts that there may be other parallel universes to be studied. There may be another, states Dartignard, where a Michael Bolton type singer is very popular, but they call him "Michael Boltman." He also plays the harmonica."Maybe it's just me" says Dartignard, "but I think that's kind of interesting."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Space, Scientists

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