Monkey denies machete attack

Funny story written by Funky Frog

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

image for Monkey denies machete attack
Not Mr Monkey's evil twin Bernie

Monkey, the popular face behind the PG Tips campaign has denied attacking Municipal worker Gary Shaver and severing his ear.

Speaking from his London apartment Mr Monkey has stated that it was not him who attacked Mr Shaver but his evil twin Bernie Monkey "you see," says Monkey "it wasn't me, but my evil twin Bernie who attacked that guy. You can ask anyone. i was out in Soho at the time. I even got my travelcard to prove it" He denies having ever owned a machete. "I haven't even got a kitchen knife, that Vegas bloke does all the cooking"

From his hospital bed Mr Shaver identified Monkey as being responsible for the attack "I only asked him if he could get me in with Carole Decker, she's a right bit of alright. I like them ginger"

Surgeons were able to reattach the severed ear in an operation which took five hours. Reconstructive Surgeon Miles O'Peeps said "it was a clean cut so it was a bit harder to put back on, usually if there are tears we just over stitch it back on and hope for the best.

Police are appealing for the whereabouts of Mr Monkey's evil twin Bernie. If you know his whereabouts please contact your local police station. He is said to look like Mr Monkey but eviler.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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