'Pregnant Man' Thomas Beatie gives birth to Cousin It of Addams Family
Thomas Beatie, the 34-year-old delusional attention-whore who made international headlines and a six-figure book deal by reporting himself as 'a pregnant man' on the Oprah show, gave birth Thursday to what doctors could only describe as a &qu...
Read full storyPortuguese Police Arrest Robert Mugabe In Connection With Disappearance Of McCain's Daughter Mandy
(Lisburn, Ireland) Police in Portadown have arrested Angolan vice-president Roberta Mugabe in connection with the disappearance ten minutes ago, of Mandy, the daughter of British chip production comp...
Read full storyBarack Obama, John McCain, Christie Brinkley, Madonna and Guy Ritchie
And throw in General Wesley Clark. Whew. Apparently, John McCain used nasty language directed at wife, Cindy, after she attempted to spread his thin hair over a bald spot, saying his hair was getting thin. A deluge followed from McCain and he accused her of wearing a pound of makeup, looking like a trollop and added the 'C' word.
Read full storyPentagon crude stockpiles equivalent to total OPEC reserves
Off-the-Wall St - (Ass Mess): "Sure, we're blaming voracious offshore carpetbaggers, money-grubbing oligarchal war-whores, assorted Axis of Evil foreign speculators and irresponsible neo-Stalinist Asian gas-guzzlers for the soaring price of...
Read full storyEnglish commentators become British for one day
During the recent Andy Murray/Rafael Nadal match, all the BBC's English tennis commentators suddenly became British for one day.
Read full storySinclair's dream of a flying bicycle
Sir Clive Sinclair today renewed his research programme into making his dream of a flying bicycle become reality. Speaking from his garden shed, he said: 'This bike will save a fortune in fuel, as pedal power will make it fly, and it will make no...
Read full storySpork crimes on the increase
Metropolitan Police have issued an appeal for witnesses after yet another spork attack on an unsuspecting youth in central London.
Read full storyHeathrow protesters take their case to Hermann Goring
Protesters against the building of Heathrow's third runway have taken their case to German air chief Hermann Goring. The demonstrators, sporting t-shirts with the slogan 'We can really change things, honest', visited Herr Goring's house in Munich...
Read full storyAP NEWS: Paris Hilton On Global Warming. Amy Winehouse Not A Racist. Oprah Not God. And The McCain Cougar.
(Chicago-Illinois) In an attempt to prove that she is not vying for the position of God or Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey denied rumors that her African schools are just ways to make her "slightest whim reality." In a related no...
Read full storyTarantino sticks the knife in over London bloodbath rampage slur
London - (Defamation Mess): Legendary moviemaker Quentin Tarantino is poised to sue UK tabloids for smears blaming his movies Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill 1&2 for the horrific multiple stabbings of two French exchange students in Lond...
Read full storyCuriosity Kill the Cats
Cats have been a menace in the town of East Cheswick for many years now. Feeding off the overflowing garbage and chasing small kids off the playgrounds, these feline beasts have made life miserable for the residents.
Read full storyWomen have same effect as Viagra
New research has discovered that women have the same effect as Viagra on males. Research at the Centre of Masculine Health has been studying the effect of women on men for many decades now.
Read full storyAndy Murray retires to take up table tennis
Tennis player Andy Murray is to retire from tennis to take up pingpong.
Read full storyCorporate Polo Shirt "Kind of Gay"
Employees at NorthCom Inc. offered a broad based opinion that the polo shirt they were given as part of an "employee appreciation" week recently is "pretty fruity" and "sort of gay."...
Read full story$650,000 Wasted to Have Business Dinner With Wrong Buffett! Woman Killed!
A recent offer by multilbillionaire Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, that anybody could have dinner with him to the tune of a small fortune, recently resulted in a major financial loss for an up-and-coming Indian businessman and the untimel...
Read full storyA WALL-E and a Cock: No Subtlety at the Box Office
(La La Land, CA) - Trying to prove he's still got the biggest firecracker in Hollywood, Will Smith's summer tent pole, hanCock, will throw down with Pixar's giant WALL-E in American theaters over the 4th...
Read full storyInterview with Robert Mugabe
(Zimbabwe News Bureau) ZNB news media is delighted for the opportunity for being the only news agency to have a personal interview with his Excellency, Robert Mugabe. We had also the chance to grace the most beautiful house ever built in the history of Asia and Africa the Mugabes Estate Residence (MER), which for some time its existence was denied to the public, frankly to tell you, we were restri...
Read full storyHorrific Alien Cookbook Is Bestseller
New Yawk NY-- A shocking cookbook supposedly written by an actual space alien is rocking the publishing and entertainment industries. The author is Osama bin Spaghettios (OBS) and his cookbook is about serving man--as the main course. The book has re...
Read full storyPlants Try To Kill All Humans For Producing The Life Giving Gas That They Need In The New Film 'The Happening.'
In another piece of enviro-MENTAL-ist propaganda, the movie 'The Happening' depicts plant life releasing a compound that will kill all humans, because we are supposedly a threat to them.
Read full storyThe Life of Brain
A HIDDEN HOARD OF MILLIONS of sex slaves is being unearthed by police potholing beneath the Pennines.
Read full storyFlaminroids scores 1000 points in Knicks win
New York City, New York - In what may of been the biggest breakout game of any person who ever existed, rookie player Flaminroids, scored an unprecedented 1000 points to smash Wilt Chamberlains previous 100 points in one game record.
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