Tarantino sticks the knife in over London bloodbath rampage slur

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 3 July 2008

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London knife carnage is not Tarantino's fault

London - (Defamation Mess): Legendary moviemaker Quentin Tarantino is poised to sue UK tabloids for smears blaming his movies Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill 1&2 for the horrific multiple stabbings of two French exchange students in London today.

From his Bel Air condominium home today Tarantino told LA FagHagSlagMag's London editor Dave Skank: "Tell them to take their stupid f***ing allegations and stuff them up their f***ing ass, OK?

"Don't blame my movies for the London blade rampage.

"Stabbings have always been Britkids' crime of choice ever since Jack the Ripper.

"He's their greatest knife-culture icon and the top choice for wannabe stabbers of all persuasions.

"Me? I just portray the bleedin' obvious."

Tarantino's words may cut no ice however with Daily Tosser hacks who have reported today that the bodies of Laurent Bonomo and Gabriel Ferez postgraduates were found bound, gagged and latticed 'with over 243 individual knife wounds' at their New Cross student digs early this morning following an arson attack on the apartment.

Police say the apparently motiveless frenzied attack is typical of blade crime in the capital.

"If you add all the knife fatalities in London this year before this latest horror I think you may find that the 243 stabbings of the French pair equal the total number of wounds inflicted on all previous blade-crime victims in the Capital....." a Met source commented on the lunchtime news.

"Which is to say...er..effing Nora. We're facing a pandemic."

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