Written by Clifford Rutley

Thursday, 3 July 2008

image for Plants Try To Kill All Humans For Producing The Life Giving Gas That They Need In The New Film 'The Happening.'
Darth Gore - Evil Lord Of The Enviro-Sith.

In another piece of enviro-MENTAL-ist propaganda, the movie 'The Happening' depicts plant life releasing a compound that will kill all humans, because we are supposedly a threat to them.

Al Gore and many other Watermelons (fake green environmentalists on the outside, secret closet red commies on the inside) have praised the movie.

'We all know that CO2 is an essential component to all life on earth, but the people are so dumb down and weak minded that we can get them to jump off cliffs to their deaths if we tell them it is for some made up higher purpose,' Gore said as we interviewed him at a private screening of the film in his private cinema in his luxury mansion which uses as much energy in a month as most American households use in 10 years. 'We did think about trying to con people into believing that one or two of the other essential life giving gases were deadly and killing the planet, such as oxygen or water vapour (which is the main and most dominant greenhouse gas) but CO2 had the added benefit of being a by product of modern human civilisation, therefore giving us a chance to brow beat the whole world back into the 17th century, before all that free speech nonsense, individuality and letting people learn how to think objectively for themselves.'

'But,' we asked. 'What about the film's stupid premise that the plants would want to kill us because we produce too much of the life giving gas that they breath and then use to create more food and oxygen for us - how on earth do they expect people to buy that?'

'Well,' Gore replied, 'the people are empty vessels and they will accept anything on their TV or cinema screen as reality, no matter how stupid it is. The TV has turned off their ability to think objectively, which is a good thing for power crazed egomaniacs like me!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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