Green Bay Packers' Cheeseheads may be smarter than previously thought
GREEN BAY -- A study released today by the University of Wisconsin-Stout's Department of Sports Psychology shows that the "cheesehead" hats, worn most notably by Green Bay Packer fans are "not primarily, as previously thought, an e...
Read full storyTalking Jesus Action Figure being recalled
The company that produces the Talking Jesus Action Figure, a big hit during the past Christmas season, has ordered a recall of the toy today.
Read full storyUK Government publishes entire UK population's personal details on web
The UK government has given up trying to keep citizens' personal details secret. After the latest revelations that a Royal Navy computer containing personal details...
Read full storyRoyal Navy plays down loss of personal data
The Royal Navy was playing down the importance of the loss of a laptop computer which contained the private details of millions of people.
Read full storyThe Magnificence of the Sun in Aquarius
Apocalyptic Cosmos - (Majestic Mess): Sunday's solar ingress into the fixed air sign of Aquarius at 16.44 GMT is the long-awaited curtain-raiser of the Age of Aquarius's prime directive of finally destroying hidden Nazi war criminal...
Read full storyAmerica is global epicenter of daft religions
Santa MonicaLewinsky, Ca - (Fund-a-mental Mess): A TV poll about god-squad epidemology has identified the United States as the global epicenter of superstitious psychosis.
Read full storyNew Skills Added To Driver's License Examination/Testing
New Mexico has added several new procedures to their standard driver's road test for new applicants to receive a driver's license. According to state Governor Bill Richardson, "these are due to the changing times and changing environment on the road...
Read full storyRabbi Opens Foreskin Museum
Rabbi Abraham Wanglestein has opened a new museum in New York City. No famous paintings or sculptures are on display. No historical inventions are encased in plastic or surrounded by ropes. Instead, the walls are adorned with foreskins of famous A...
Read full storyNevada Democrats Caucus - Whores And All!
The lady, black man, and pretty boy, along with what other trash might still remain in the Democrat lineup, will be in Nevada today for the caucus there.
Read full storyAvram Grants' Coat Dies
Chelsea Manager Avram Grant was unavailable for comment tonight after the sudden death of his beloved black overcoat, Alan.
Read full storyAmerica the fragmented; finally politicians reflect truth; study reveals consumption Americas only unifying force
What do Mitt Romney, John McCain, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckleberry, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama have in common? Absolutely nothing according to sociologist and hobby birdwatcher, Dr. Raymond Birdsong who says that it's about tim...
Read full storyScores Hospitalized After Being Overcome by Candidate's Breath
What started as a relatively calm and informative presentation by Republican Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson suddenly turned calamitous and potentially deadly for many unwitting participants at his enclosed campaign headquarters in Nashville, Te...
Read full storyKeegan 'Lovin' McDonalds Deal
Kevin Keegan, recently appointed Newcastle manager and comeback kid, has delved deeper in to his comeback by announcing that he will become the face of fast food restaurant chain McDonalds.
Read full storyHillary: "The choice is Split Pea vs Black Eyed Pea"
COLUMBIA, SC - Senator Hillary Clinton in a speech to the Farm Workers of America gave some background to the 35 years of experience that she believes makes her the most qualified to be the next Democratic Presidential nominee; here is part of that speech:...
Read full storyRadon Causes Tobacco Cancer not Nicotine
Saint Leo, Florida (IPP) - An independently wealthy Indian artifacts collector from Florida has stumbled onto a closely guarded corporate and government secret about the real cause of cancer as it relates to tobacco use.
Read full storyLittlehampton Wakes To Early Morning Wood
Following the sinking of a cargo ship off the Dorset Coast the people of the tiny English hamlet of Littlehampton have been flocking to the shore with a hands-on approach to looting whatever has been washed up.
Read full storyHooters expanding, adding drive-throughs
Hoping to compete with Wendy's, McDonald's and Taco Bell for the late-night customer, Hooters Restaurants will attach drive-through windows to their facilities so diners can get a quick meal and one more peek at over-exposed waitresses on the...
Read full storyPets Able to Speak Human Languages
Melbourne, Florida (IPP) - A science team composed of a brother and sister who specialize in animal behavior have made an astounding discovery about how animals behave outside the presence of their human masters.
Read full storyHeathrow Crash Latest - Coward is a Hero
Following the near-miss of the crash landed Boeing 777 at Heathrow airport two days ago, the pilot has revealed that the real hero was his co-pilot John Coward.
Read full storyCloverfield is Not Fiction - True Story !
New York City, New York (IPP) - Most people that see the movie "Cloverfield" leave the movie thinking that what they just saw on the big screen was merely science fiction. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Read full storyBlair's first official police mugshots unveiled
New Scotland Yard - (Bad Ass Mess): The first official mugshots in the criminal career of Tony Blair have been released.
Read full storyPresident Bush economic stimulus package a sure way for schools not to meet AYP
Instructor, musician and satirist, King David wants to thank President Bush for an economic stimulus package that promises to drive the final nail into the coffin and insure that pubic school systems across the country will not meet AYP, or Adequate...
Read full storyReal George W Bush lies buried under Central Park's Jackie Kennedy Reservoir
Manhattan, NY - (Reuterus): Classified documents released by NATO military intelligence under the 30 year rule claim that the real George W Bush was pickled by New York mobsters in a 100 gallon vat of marker crude and buried under the Jacqueline Ken...
Read full storyHelicopter Ben gets a new nickname
Ben Bernanke, better known as "The Helicopter", appeared before congress on Thursday to provide testimony about the current state of the economy and a possible recession.
Read full storySunderland to be Abolished
A Bill has been presented to the House of Commons that will have the effect of abolishing the City of Sunderland on the north east coast of England.
Read full storyNevada culinary union to make 60,000 chocolate Easter bunnies for Obama campaign
Nevada's largest labor union, the Culinary Union Local 226 joined with parent organization, UNITE-HERE and announced today that it would be making 60,000 chocolate Easter bunnies, one for each member, to commemorate support for the Obama campaign...
Read full storyGeorge Bush lines up job as village idiot in Gloucester
George Bush has announced that he has accepted a job as village idiot for a village just outside Gloucester.
Read full storyAl-Qa What?
After watching Mr. Bush's visit to the Middle East region, I, of course imaginatively, was granted an exclusive interview with the First Lady Laura Bush. At the beginning, I felt very uncomfortable, but she graciously helped me out of it. When I found my tongue, I bluntly asked Lady Laura why she had not accompanied her husband on the trip to the region.
Read full storyRon Paul a Secessionist? Toe Tale Takes Tricky Turn
In a story crazily expanding and snaking out all over the globe, Ron Paul...
Read full storyRon Paul Tax on No-Talent Hacks?
In a statement issued today, the long-shot, racist, Republican candidate who can't win, Ron Paul has announced a major change in his platform, and now wants a...
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