New Scotland Yard - (Bad Ass Mess): The first official mugshots in the criminal career of Tony Blair have been released.
They show a serial fraudster, thief and multi-faceted molestor brought up under the Duke of Edinburgh's Scheme and groomed by UK Hellfire Club grandees for a stellar career in war crimes concealment.
"It's an ugly picture," Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency bosses admitted, "and doesn't get any prettier as Blair metamorphoses into Head of the IRA Military Council."
The early mugshots will go on display at Scotland Yard's notorious Rogues' Gallery where they will join over 100 exhibits related to the IRA Puppet Monarch's hideous extended family.
A space has also been reserved for the latest artist's impression of Cherie, herself an accomplished felon straight out of the Robert Maxwell/Margaret Thatcher mould.
"But there's still plenty of room for Gorgon Brown and his henchmen," the Gallery's curators assured the public today.