New Skills Added To Driver's License Examination/Testing

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Saturday, 19 January 2008


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Richardson hopes that new driving test skills will decrease accidents

New Mexico has added several new procedures to their standard driver's road test for new applicants to receive a driver's license. According to state Governor Bill Richardson, "these are due to the changing times and changing environment on the roads, streets, and highways of our beautiful state."

In addition to the normal parallel parking, right and left turns, and other trials, applicants will now be required to:

  • Execute a full stop at a stop sign, signal, and make a right turn while eating a hamburger and fries (note: a straw will be allowed in the soft drink and ketchup is not required).
  • Describe traffic conditions both in front and behind you while putting on make-up (optional only for heterosexual males).
  • Parallel park while texting and then receiving a text message (at least ten characters).
  • Accelerate, slow, and make two turns while receiving oral sex (applicants can choose the gender of their tester).
  • Make a quick stop to avoid a child rushing into the street while reading a newspaper.
  • Make at least two turns one handed while talking on a cell phone.

"We were going to include changing the radio station or the CD in the stereo system, but didn't want to make the new test too difficult," said Richardson.

Spokesman at the state's Motor Vehicle Division believe that testing for these skills before allowing teenagers to obtain a license will ensure that they will fully qualify for the conditions and circumstances they will encounter while driving.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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