Radon Causes Tobacco Cancer not Nicotine

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Saturday, 19 January 2008

image for Radon Causes Tobacco Cancer not Nicotine
"Hmm...sounds interesting"

Saint Leo, Florida (IPP) - An independently wealthy Indian artifacts collector from Florida has stumbled onto a closely guarded corporate and government secret about the real cause of cancer as it relates to tobacco use.

The name of the discoverer of this news has been altered in order to protect him or her as much as possible. He or she shall be called RJ here. The terms he or his will be used for convenience.

RJ became alarmed over a cancer cluster among children in his neighborhood. No one seemed willing nor able to say exactly what the cause of the cancer was. RJ took matters into his own hands and went out and bought a Geiger counter.

He went to various locations in the area of the cancer cluster and found that it was the tar and asphalt used in the road construction which was emmitting a high rate of radioactivity as the probable cause of the cancer in the neighborhood where all of the cancer was being reported.

RJ was not well versed on the subject of radioactivity and began to investigate books and government files on the matter. He stumbled onto a misplaced government report that indicates that radon in tobacco is the primary agent causing lung cancer in smokers. The radon source is the soil from the mountains where tobacco is grown.

He contacted some government people on the subject and was met with a deafening silence on this subject. Within a short time he began to realize he was being followed and on a couple of occasions he came home and realized that someone had entered into his house while he had been out. Then he began to receive threats via mysterious phone calls.

RJ has set up a hidden security system capable of recording intrusions into his home and has met with attorneys over the issue and has begun to make the whole story available to the general public. If he succeeds the tobacco companies and the government will suffer great losses in profits and tax revenues. The people who smoke are the only ones who stand to gain from the work that RJ had done at his own expense and peril.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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