Rabbi Opens Foreskin Museum

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Saturday, 19 January 2008


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Rabbi Abraham Wanglestein has opened a new museum in New York City. No famous paintings or sculptures are on display. No historical inventions are encased in plastic or surrounded by ropes. Instead, the walls are adorned with foreskins of famous American men (both Jews and gentiles).

The foreskin is the part of the penis removed during a circumcision (called a Bris in a ritual Jewish ceremony) of newborn baby boy.

The Rabbi has been collecting foreskins both from circumcisions he has performed himself and form others for years. When it outgrew his home, he decided to open a museum so that others could enjoy the fruits of his labors.

Upon entering the museum, which is located just outside of the famous Diamond District, one encounters a picture by picture description of a bris, from beginning to end. At that point, one can visit their choice of several themed rooms displaying both the foreskin and a picture and short biography of the adult. The rooms are, in order from their nearness to the entrance, Politicians, Athletes, Entertainers (two rooms), Religious Figures, Writers, Gentiles, and Others of Note.

Some foreskins are larger than others. When asked if the size of the foreskin denotes the size of an adult penis, the Rabbi was quick to say "no." "The biggest foreskin we got is from actor Bert Lahr, but we all know that someone most famous for playing the Cowardly Lion isn't heavily endowed. The littlest foreskin is from jockey Willie Shoemaker (originally Shumacher), who was actually hung like the horses he rode to victory.)

When asked why someone would want to collect foreskins, Wanglestein said that "it is like holding on to a little piece of history."

When asked to list some of the famous foreskins from the gentile room, he said that everyone wanted to see the foreskin of Hillary Clinton. "Everyone knows she's got one big pair of balls for a woman, but she doesn't have anything on display in our museum."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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