Lions loss seals worst zoo season
London Zoo became the first zoo to lose more than 100 lions for the season after losing 11 lions during the Xmas period. The lions had already sealed the zoo league's worst-ever year with last Sunday's 3 lion loss. They join the 1976 Bristol...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina
There was great excitement in the entertainment sector today when the results of a nationwide survey revealed that the vagina owned by Miley Cyrus is now more popular than that of Britney Spears. The vaginas, both very similar in design, are curre...
Read full storyLennon in lapdance advert
Former Beatle John Lennon is featuring in a lapdance advertisement for an erotic club in the US, 28 years after his death. The singer has been brought back to life using digital technology for the One Lapdance Per Day initiative. The club, "I...
Read full storyBonfire goes up in flames - again!
A giant bonfire erected each Christmas in Liverpool has been burned down - yet again. The 13m-high (43ft) bonfire in Liverpool has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been hit by a car and had bits of wood stolen...
Read full storyChurch is to blame for debt misery, says Darling
With Adams, Whittard, Woolworths, Zavvi and MFI all having filed for administration in recent weeks, financial analysts are predicting many more well-known names could go to the wall in coming months as the amount of money being spent in Britain's r...
Read full storyCar Boot Sales Selling Cut-Price Holidays In Lanarkshire
In North Lanarkshire today, car boot sales were selling cut-price holidays. Mrs. Eileen McCormack, of Airdrie, said: 'Aye, give us a fiver, and you can spend a week in the boot of our Renault Megane. No extras, no hidden costs, just a nice wee break...
Read full storyMadonna and Britney Spears Join The Spoof.com
Cyberspace - It has been revealed that "Madonna and Britney Spears have decided to join on as writers". While the two celebrities have not confirmed the report this has not stopped current writers from shamelessly using their celebrity to stir things...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse In St Lucia 'Horse With Tits' Drama
Nutcase Amy Winehouse stunned tourists and locals alike by performing an outrageous topless dance on holiday in St Lucia. The tattooed Rehab singer bared her breasts for a bizarre hotel balcony boogie, before appearing on the beach to splash abou...
Read full storyFDA Recalls Aspartame Laden Products
WASHINGTON DC - Dr. Strangedeath issued an emergency press release recalling over 9,000 products containing aspartame. The aspartame was causing over 92 different symptoms when the food items were consumed by humans. Dr. Strangedeath told TheSpoo...
Read full storyHundreds Of Geordies Hospitalised
Hundreds of Geordies were rushed into hospitals in the North East tonight suffering from cringeing embarrassment following the Toon's 5-1 home drubbing by a frankly, not that great Liverpool team. 'It was a joke that was,' said one as he was conso...
Read full storyDance Ban for Crimes against Humanity
Hello Dance Fans. In a heartbreaking tragic miscarriage of justice, I have been BANNED from dancing in Europe for 25 years, for dance floor related crimes against humanity. Under the circumstances a mainland UK ban was inevitable, but the full European wide ban has left me a shell of a man. I have always enjoyed dancing on the continent. Infact for period of time in the 90's, the ONLY plac...
Read full storyPound Shops Poised For High Street Domination
Following the collapse of several leading retail outlets recently, the humble pound shop is all set to dominate UK High Streets. Shares in pound shops were holding steady at a pound on the FTSE yesterday, a price which hasn't changed much since th...
Read full storyQueen's son in 'smack my bitch up' rumpus
Sandringham - (Shaggy Dog Mess): Prince Edward is in deep shit after UK papers published photos of him 'smacking up his bitch' during a Boxing Day royal peasant shoot. The pictures have been branded typical of the useless and pointless scrounger...
Read full storyYabby Creek Suicide Rate Plummets, Summer Bay rate rises 300%
Yesterday, early evening, enjoying a meal of beans on toast with cheese on top, I happened to catch part of an episode of 'Home and Away' Having not seen this programme for approx ten year, I was deeply disappointed to discover that even after all this time the inhabitants of the Summer Bay area, still seem to have very little town pride -almost to the point of having an inferiority complex;...
Read full storyTrees Refuse to Drop Leaves
In a stunning abberation of nature, leaf-bearing trees worldwide have stopped shedding their leaves in the winter. "Shove it up your xylem and phloem," one markedly aggravated tree, Mr. Maple Hardwood, exclaimed. "We're deciduous trees. We simpl...
Read full storyHillary Announces Aid
Washington - Hillary Rodham Clinton presented the selection of one of her aids today. Shawn O'Pec is the choice as one of her primary aids in her new role as Secretary of State in the upcoming Obama presidency. "What's good for the gander is good...
Read full storyGazza in Custody Battle for The Fog
Breaking news from Newcastle Crown Court. Following weeks of tension, a city breaths a sigh of relief after being granted custody of one its most famous institutions, ending 16 years of feuding between City fathers and the regions famous drunken son...
Read full storyBusy Times for Three Spirits
The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Christmas yet to come have admitted that 2008 has proven to be a far busier year than they were expecting. A Mr Marley, dragging his chains behind him told us: 'In my time, it was easier for them. There w...
Read full storyBoris Johnson's New Year's Resolutions 2009
Boris Johnson's New Year Resolutions · Have a good haircut · Think of some brand new catchphrases · Gosh · Phwoar · Crikey · Make friends · Stop taking David Cameron seriously · Stop the Congestion Charge · Get better at Wiff Waff · Make proper friends with Barack · Finish my collection of Colloquial poetry · Finish the Dove Cote · Finish War and Peace · Start a War over Badminton...
Read full storyAl Gore to Donate Long Underwear
Nashville - In a symbolic gesture, Al Gore, is donating all of his long underwear to charity. The former Vice President announced Wednesday, Christmas Eve, that because of the advancement of Global Warming in our world, neither he, nor anyone else...
Read full storySweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again
A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in the northern Swedish town of Bonkers has been burned down - yet again. The 50 foot high animal has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been ram-raided with a sleigh, b...
Read full storyRussell Brand Judges And Wins Stinking Vagina Competition
The lovely looking and scented, Mr Brand has amazed the world by being a judge on the world's most offensive vagina and walking off with the title himself. Mr Brand who has slept with over 5000 women (all conscious) and 200 vacuum cleaners of var...
Read full storyA Million Clowns Expected To Disrupt Obama Inauguration
Washington DC-- Homeland Insecurity is growing anxious about the possibility of a major clown invasion during January's presidential inauguration. There is speculation up to one-million clowns will invade the capital and cause some type of mischief...
Read full storyJade Goody forum causes Internet to crash
The Internet was shut down for an incredible 7 hours earlier this month following Jade Goody's announcement that she was going ahead with her cancer treatment during the panto season. Engineers working frantically to discover the cause, found tha...
Read full storyWizard of Oz Joins Dispute Over 850-Pound Emerald
LOS ANGELES, CA - The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department received a call Thursday morning from someone claiming to be the Wizard of Oz, true owner of the so-called "Bahia Emerald." For several weeks, this giant 180,000-carat emerald has been th...
Read full storyPeter, Paul and Mary to Sing "Barack the Magic Negro" at Inauguration
Republicans of the ilk of Rush Limberger have been chortling about the pretty lame satirical takeoff on Puff, The Magic Dragon that casts self-satirical Al Sharpton singing about the inauthenticity of Obama's African American identity. Barack is...
Read full storyNew Afghani Bestselling Novel: The Rottweiller Runner
Millions of readers and later film goers were captured by the sentimentality and melodrama of The Kite Runner, an story of Afghani culture by an American- Afghani doctor who obviously didn't have enough patients or literary talent. In an odd se...
Read full storyUS of A Becomes Mission Territory for Roman Catholicism
Any American Roman Catholic who grew up in the 1950's could tell you about the endless mission banks, collections and auctions of pagan babies to fuel the missionary effort to what would later be known as the third world countries. Families told of t...
Read full storyIsraeli Menorah Explodes Over Gaza
Hamas has been sending Rockets over Israel throughout Hannukah to celebrate the festival of lights and kill Jews. In an act of ecumenical vengeance Israel has exploded a giant menorah in the heart of the Gaza Strip killing hundreds of people. A...
Read full storyBush Saves Planet from Alien Attacks
Washington - George W. Bush, seen by many as a lameduck president by many may soon be considered the greatest president of all time. While publicly appearing calm and cheerful the president has been single handedly fending off alien attacks to the U.
Read full storyKim Kardashian's Ass Injures Onlooker
LOS ANGELES, CA - Eric Gonzalez and some friends were in Los Angeles for a day of sightseeing Friday afternoon. Events took a turn for the worse and Gonzalez, 23, ended up in Kindred Hospital with a mild concussion. "I was walking with my friends...
Read full storyLonely Russian Man Watching Sarah Palin From Home
ANCHORAGE, AK - Stanislav Anzhela has been keeping a close eye on the Alaska governor since her meteoric rise from political obscurity earlier this year. Anzhela first became aware of Palin while surfing the Internet, searching world news headlines.
Read full storyCrocodile Hunter's Wife To Marry Bear
The widow of legendary croc hunter Steve Irwin has revealed she's finally moved on from his tragic death after announcing her engagement to a seven foot grizzly bear named Norman. "I'm very happy" claimed Terri Irwin during an in depth Oprah Winfr...
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