Sandringham - (Shaggy Dog Mess): Prince Edward is in deep shit after UK papers published photos of him 'smacking up his bitch' during a Boxing Day royal peasant shoot.
The pictures have been branded typical of the useless and pointless scrounger as he lays into a pair of guide dogs trained to sniff out critics of the Puppet Monarchy.
Regarded as something of a 'Prodigy' (sick) by the brain-damaged House of Windsor distaff line young Edward is a genius at sponging off the Fat of the Land.
Last year he cost taxpayers £500,000 in royal housing benefits and other handouts after turning down every single Jobcentre employment offer deemed suitable for an arsehole of his background and stature.
Sophie Wessex is an Opus Dei whore.
