Barack Obama Born In Bethlehem
After much speculation in the US about the actual birthplace of President-elect, Barack Obama, it has been revealed that he was, in fact, born thousands of miles from the White House, both in distance, and in stature - he was born in a stable in Beth...
Read full storyDennis Wise Set For Leeds United Return
Leeds United, the fallen giants of Yorkshire football, have today sacked manager Gary McAllister after a run of five successive defeats has seen them slide down League One. Initial reports say McAlister's replacement is likely to be former manager De...
Read full storyMark Hughes Manchester City Christmas Sack
Manchester City manager, Mark Hughes, isn't feeling particularly festive tonight, and certainly won't be looking forward to his Christmas present from the City board after this afternoon's 2-1 defeat at West Bromwich Albion - it's the sack! Hughes...
Read full storyEconomy Hits Famous Actresses in the Middle of their Botox Injections
The dismal economy is finally hitting Hollywood. Now that the Dow Jones Industrial Average has fallen lower than Governor Blagojevich's popularity quotient, famous-but-older doyennes of Tinseltown are forced to forego their monthly injections of Bot...
Read full storyEconomic Stimulus A Failure- Economy Remains Frigid
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson spoke at a press conference on Thursday, acknowledging that efforts to stimulate the nation's moribund economy have so far been "a failure", and that the economy remains cold and unresponsive. "I've been on top o...
Read full storyAnti-terror chief says Tories' Hellfire Club pact undermining leaks enquiry
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A sordid Tory pact with the Hellfire Club protecting the Omagh bombers, assorted 'God's Banker' murderers, the Brinks-Matt bullion heist gang, Lord Lucan's killer and Shergar's kidnappers is at the bottom of a con...
Read full storyThe Golden Years
The Golden Years Have Come At Last - I Cannot See, I Cannot Pee, I Cannot Chew, I Cannot Screw. My Memory Shrinks - My Hearing Stinks - No Sense Of Smell - I Look Like Hell! My Body Is Drooping - Got Trouble Pooping. The Golden Years Have Come At Last - The Golden Years Can Kiss My Ass!...
Read full storyCaroline Kennedy Named to Senate
Caroline Kennedy will join her uncle Ted in the US Senate in 2009. New York Governor David Paterson announced his choice to replace outgoing Senator Hillary Clinton on Sunday. "Many people have raised concerns about her lack of experience in elect...
Read full storyGeorge Bush to open shoe shop when he retires
President George bush has decided that when he retires, rather than go on the lecture circuit where you have to think on your feet, he's going into a business where he can think about feet. He's combining his existing talent for putting his foot i...
Read full storyHebrides Hedgehog Cull hits Opposition
Scottish Natural Heritage will continue their cull of hedgehogs in the Outer Hebrides, as they pose a threat to ground-nesting game birds and their eggs. This obviously presents a nusiance factor to the rich and shameless landed gentry who breed...
Read full storyLockerbie 20th Anniversary Marked By Red Arrows Fly-Past
The 20th anniversary of the Lockerbie Disaster, in which more than 259 passengers perished aboard Pan Am flight 103 high above the Scottish town on 21 December 1988, has, this morning, been marked with a fly-past by the Red Arrows. Eleven resident...
Read full storyBrown reveals Capitalism revival plan - Throwing stuff at News Conferences & Phone voting in TV show
Prime Minister Gordon Brown yesterday gave a surprisingly upbeat view of how the economy will improve over the coming year. Speaking at the December Number 10 news conferences, he invited journalists to throw their shoes at him: "Give it your best shot, lads. They couldn't hit Bush! Do ya feel lucky, punks? Well do ya? And ..no you're not getting them back. You'll have to go out and buy a...
Read full storyAbout Visit To Umbrellastan
Dear Spoof, This here is Wiley Beery and I live out on the Huntsvlle Road in Montgomery County. Please run this letter in the Letters To The Editor department of your internet newspaper. Are any of you Spoof readers originally from Umbrellastan in Eastern Europe? If so, please write to me or call. You see, I was on a recent trip-Bargain Basement Tours- and after we toured Turkmenista...
Read full storySixth Exerpt From 'Found' Dickens Christmas Carol
Unless one is of dyslexic nature, you may want to purveiw these chapters that precede this * And perhaps it was the pleasure the good Spirit had in showing off this power of his, or else it was his own kind, generous, hearty nature, and his sympathy with all poor men, and how they may perceive others who have it all, that led him straight to Cratchit's clerk's; (his nephew and his brother that...
Read full storyHighlights of Dick Cheney's Career
August 1962- Dodges draft. May 1963- Dodges draft. November 1964- Dodges draft. September 1965- Dodges draft. January 1966- Dodges draft. May 1969- Becomes intern for William Steiger who famously says "I never had sex with that man. Cheney agreed. July 1969- Joins Office of Economic Opportunity, which pretty much describes what his whole career was about anyway. Makes it his mot...
Read full storyThe Top Ten Reasons Santa Is Downsizing This Year
(New York-NY) I think it was either Sigmund Freud or any post-rhinoplasty Bat Mitzvah girl from Long Beach (That's Long Island…not California.) who wrote "I am a Jew, and it always seemed to me not only shameful but downright senseless to deny it." And that's my sentiment at Christmas. But, like Freud, I'm not particularly religious. You could call me ultra-Reformed. Or as my friend Jon Braunhut w...
Read full storyBarack Obama Finds Real Birth Certificate
Kenya? Hawaii? Indonesia? The truth has finally been revealed as President Elect Barack Obama has found another birth certificate (and this one does not have any white-out on it). A previous, obviously altered birth certificate that showed one ho...
Read full storyPam Anderson Wardrobe Malfunction Bit Over The Top!
The top-heavy Baywatch babe was taping a segment for the Osbournes Reloaded Show when during a skit her two famous assets came spilling over the the top of her extremely skimpy dress. "The Osbournes are blindfolded themselves and ask the guest que...
Read full storyDairy Group Approves Cheese Made From Breast Milk
The Dairy Council of America, an independent board of major dairy owners, approved the retail sales of cheese made from breast milk under the "cheese" and "dairy" names. The products are scheduled to begin hitting store shelves at the beginning of t...
Read full storyBush visited by three ghosts, wakes up changed man
President Bush, having survived a night with three apparitions, was feeling very much alive this morning. Eye witnesses say that the president was seen walking over to the federal treasury and inquiring how much money was available and then arranging...
Read full storyRocket launcher found in Buckingham Palace
Authorities in London have launched an investigation into why a modern rocket launcher was located within the walls of Buckingham Palace. The offensive weapon was not loaded at the time of its discovery however Police and Armed Forces are making...
Read full storyRoy Keane interested in Scunthorpe job after conversation with Paul Ince
Roy Keane may be returning to management sooner than anyone had dared believe, following a conversation he allegedly had with sacked Blackburn manager Paul Ince. Keane, who we caught up with under a railway bridge swigging meths (2007 Boots - a ve...
Read full storyIn Stunning Reversal, Springsteen to Donate Super Bowl Earnings to Bush Memorial
Singer/songwriter Bruce Springsteen, who has a long history of supporting far left, un-American, unpatriotic, and anti-Bush activities, shocked friend and foe alike yesterday by announcing he would donate the money he will be paid to perform at half-...
Read full storyTons of marijuana discovered at school
Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away. "These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?"...
Read full storySmiley Face Morphs in the 21st Century Economy
The simple bright yellow sphere with its two little black dots and the U shaped curve beneath the dots has been popular the world over as a cheerful icon. The smiley face can be found on countless products and innumerable samples of grafitti. It...
Read full storyE-Hockshop: Biggest Virtual Pawnshop
The worldwide recession has had a big effect on the worldwide web. Online shopping and e-bay auctions are being replaced by virtual pawnshops and online loan sharks. Paydayjaws lends small amounts of money before to payday to strapped workers at...
Read full storyBush visited by ghost of Hoover
It was reported that President Bush was visited by the ghost of Herbert Hoover after he and the first lady finished watching the tonight show earlier this evening. Bush told reporters that the ghost had identified itself as the spirit of Herbert...
Read full storyScolari Orders Chelsea and Alex to be Happy
Scolari and his mouthpieces have insisted in the press that Chelsea is the happiest team in all football and that defender Alex is downright giddy with contempt...er, contentment. Scolari called anyone who said anything different was a great big liar...
Read full storyDoor Company asks Jehovah Witness to Test Doors
Warroad Minnesota - The Ames Door Company, entering its' 100th year of production this year, is recognized a national leader in the design and production of residential doors. Their premier product, the Diplomat, is a top-of-the-line Pennsylvania oak...
Read full storyBear Grylls Turns Up Nose At Broccoli
December 20, 2008 - NEW YORK CITY, NY - Noted Discovery Channel celebrity and survivalist Bear Grylls walked out of Manhattan's Ristorante Mario in disgust earlier this week. The small but quaint, highly regarded Italian restaurant has been very...
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