Government ministers and the heads of Britain's emergency services have decided at a meeting in Downing Street tonight to drastically and controversially overhaul the Emergency Services by changing the telephone number from 999 to 911.
The move comes after a survey amongst children and young people between the ages of 4 and 25, the results of which, showed that a massive 91% of those interviewed, think 911 ALREADY IS THE EMERGENCY NUMBER!
999 has, since 1937, been the number to dial when one wished to call the police, fire brigade, ambulance service or coastguard, as well as to report a cat stuck up a tree - like Mrs Scroggins of Doncaster, whose cat, Emily, is always getting stuck up her tree - but during the last 15 years, a change has taken place.
Britain has become Americanised beyond all recognition, and it seems that many young people watch so much American shit on TV, that they truly believe that ringing 911 would get them through to someone to help them in an emergency.
Now, the Government has acted to bring the UK in line with the US - as it does on most things these days - and from Monday, 999 will be replaced by 911.
Are you listening Mrs Scroggins?