Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away.
"These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?" pondered U.S. General Betrayus.
"We will find the drugs, confiscate the contraband, and turn it over to authorties that will dispose of the illicit material properly," he said.
U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton's husband commented on the possibly that the students weren't involved.
"Maybe the kids weren't smoking the 'kind'," said former President Bill Clinton. "I know I didn't inhale."
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