Olympic Gold Medal for Eddie The Eagle
Eddie the Eagle Edwards thought the International Olympic Committee (IOC) were taking the piste when he was informed that he was to be awarded the Gold Medal for his efforts in the 1988 Calgary Games.
Read full storyRich Boy turned Teacher?
(ATL)- Rapper Rich Boy has reportedly recently graduated an adult night class, certifying him as a teacher. After Rich Boy realized that rapping was harder than it sounded, especially after dropping out of college.
Read full storyChico and the Curvy Aung San Suu Kyi
Protest singer Chico has caused the UK government international embarrassment with his single "curvy cola bottle body" which aims to raise awareness of Burma's detained opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi
Read full storyBritish Sporting Victories Predicted For 2012 Olympics
Britain's failure to achieve consistent international sporting success may be transformed into victory by 2012, the Ministry of Sport announced today.
Read full storyLife imitates "Brazil" (the movie): Supreme Court refuses to hear real life govmt. mistaken identity, abduction and torture case
Washington, D.C. - In an all too eerie occurrence of life imitating art, today the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear a case of mistaken identity, abduction and torture of an innocent man, a Germany citizen of Lebanese descent, by the Central Intelli...
Read full storyMiami Dolphins Going For Perfect Season
Miami, Florida (IP) - The Miami Dolphins are once again well on their way to achieving a perfect season. Instead of 16 and Zero they will go for Zero and 16.
Read full storyCosta Rica Names New Rocket
San Jose, Costa Rica (IP) - The contest to name the world's biggest rocket is over and the winning name is El Conyo De Su Madre. The runner up names were Mohon Grande and La Putica Sussia.
Read full storyAl Gore trumps Christopher Columbus
Al Gore's most recent unauthorized biography "I Invented That" claims Al Gore not only invented the Internet but also invented North America long before Christopher Columbus discovered it.
Read full storyBoy Scouts Will Fly in Shuttle
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The Boy Scouts have a new space flight badge that is awarded to Scouts who earn enough points in space science and the first two Scouts to earned the coveted badge will fly aboard the next space shuttle flight.
Read full storyBush pissed at UK troop withdrawal
George W Bush is described as being "Pissed" with Gordon Brown after learning that UK will withdraw from Iraq by February 2009.
Read full storyBritney Spears Camel Toe shocks viewers
Britney Spears may have to once again reconsider her clothing choices following an appearance on a local De Moines, Iowa TV show. The "Gimme More" singer performed a bizarre impromptu routine while dressed in a skin-tight l...
Read full storyDavid Davies "not real" admits Cameron
Shocking news emerged from Whitehall earlier today, further to a memo leaked late on Monday that suggested Davies was, in fact, completely fake. The memo was first ignored, then denied, then accepted, then ignored again, before being admitted as &qu...
Read full storyPluto Sues International Astronomical Union
Attorney at Law, Harvey Birdman, has filed suit against the International Astronomical Union (IAU) on behalf of his client, Pluto, for claiming that Pluto is no longer a planet. Through his interpreter at a press conference Pluto stated "being c...
Read full storyVan Drives Itself
A white van sped off down the road without a driver after the door opened on a steep bend.
Read full storyMarion Jones Gives Back Medals
Marion Jones has given up the five medals she won at the Sydney Olympics, days after admitting she used performance-enhancing drugs. What happens next is up to the International Olympic Committee.
Read full storyMan Makes Replica Of National Landmark Out Of Cheese
A man from Bangor in Northern Ireland's seaside town of Bangor is hoping to go into the record books as the first person to have modelled the Giant's Causeway out of Mini Babybel cheese.
Read full storyBreast Boosting Beer
European men are flocking to Bulgaria to buy 'breast-boosting beer' after EU accession led to customs duties on the drink being abolished.
Read full storyWest Nile Virus cyber-variant threat to Pentagon's flying nanotech spyware
Washington DC - (Contagious Mess): A mutant cyber-variant virus modelled on the organic West Nile Virus is threatening the Pentagon's cutting edge flying nanotech spyware.
Read full storyLitvinenko cops eye US ambassador amid Pentagon cold war revelations
Washington DC - (Fallout Mess): UK police probing the Plutonium 210 poisoning of ex-KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko have dropped a bombshell about a top US diplomatic suspect linked to the Pentagon's cold war espionage secrets.
Read full storyNader Calls for Recall of Christmas
Consumer advocate and former presidential candidate Ralph Nader has called for a recall of Christmas this year.
Read full storyGirl Discovered
A girl of 5 years who is very old for her age was discovered today after being bought up in the wild by a pack of travelling warrior Greengrocers. These voodoo fruitsters took the small girl under their stall when they spotted her trying to sculpt a...
Read full storyInternational Peace Rally Broken up by CIA, Neo-Hippie Detainees Taken
Tirana, Albania - Albanian spectators cheered as a small rally of 100 peace-loving American hippies were ruthlessly apprehended by black-clad paramilitary forces thought to be under the command of the CIA. Albania, known for its unbending support of...
Read full storyA Diet to Die For?
Its being hailed as the most dangerous 'fad' diet since eating windows but Hollywood's A-list are all looking for a 'slice' of the action. Home amputation is now the fastest growing way to lose a stone. 'Alleged' comedy ac...
Read full storyStarkers Miss England in MyNudeSpace fake profile storm
London - (Barefaced Ass Mess): The winning contestant in the Starkers Miss England pageant is hopping mad today after imposters on the social nit-working site MyNudeSpace slammed her as a demented dipso nymphomaniac. The the 20-year-old model cum...
Read full storyJade Goody says outer Space is rubbish
Television geography disaster Jade Goody is set to do for the space race what she did for race relations.
Read full storyPack Master I
QM Mule Pack Unit, stationed next to cavalry battalion, had more than 100 mules. They were used for transporting supplies to rugged terrains. The man in charge of this unit was a full pack of oddities. He, when young, had graduated from the Army Veterinary Assistant School. His last assignment, before retirement, was Pack Unit Master.
Read full storyRadiohead Release 'Free' Album
Radiohead release their new album this week, and, in a supreme show of loyalty towards their fans, have decided not to charge any money for it.
Read full storyElvis was Son of God; Toilet Incident was Devil's Work
It has been revealed that Elvis was not only The King of Rock and Roll, but also The King of All Mankind. Perhaps this revelation goes some way in explaining Elvis' many and varied apparitions, and his vast following of disciples. In his lifetime, Elvis was tempted many times by the Devil. In his previous incarnation as Jesus, the Son of God had dismissed Satan's attempts to woo him to the d...
Read full storyPosh Spice Muscles Onto Diana Inquest Jury
There was a surprise new contestant in the Princess Diana Competition yesterday, when Victoria Beckham, wife of the American footballer David, joined the jury. Beckham, real name Posh Spice, visited the crash site in Paris where Diana and her rich...
Read full storyThe Lady IS For Returning
Wobbly Octogenarian dictator Margaret Thatcher is to host her own daytime chat show insiders told us today. Channel 4 have commissioned a six episode run in which Thatcher, attached to an elaborate puppet system, will chat with guests such as Radiohe...
Read full storyTesco Attempt to Rob God by Starting their Own Religion
Heaven - God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit are reported to be slightly concerned over the intentions of a 'very helpful' supermarket chain.
Read full storyJeremy Kyle's Family ask for a DNA Test
Sanctimonious Git Jeremy Kyle's family have all asked for a DNA test, to prove whether or not the Human Bear Baiter is a family member, or simply a bloke that they know.
Read full storyViolence in media to be investigated by Dr Tanya
The British Board of Film Classification, which also oversees the classification of videogames, has announced that it has rejected a revised version of Manhunt 2.
Read full storyThe Real Ruler Returns
Just when you thought the soppy saga had finally ground to a halt new photo evidence released today appears to show Princess Diana alive and well working in the Stroud High Street branch of Rymans the Stationers.
Read full storyLabour Rip Off Conservative Election Pledges
The Labour party has been accused of "ripping off" many of the Conservatives' election pledges, following the release of Alistair Darling's pre-budget report. Labour has suggested that the report will definitely give them the edge and allow them t...
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