Eddie the Eagle Edwards thought the International Olympic Committee (IOC) were taking the piste when he was informed that he was to be awarded the Gold Medal for his efforts in the 1988 Calgary Games.
The IOC are evaluating previous performances in view of the Marion Jones debacle and have decided that Eddie 'The Eagle' may well be the only honest competitor in Olympic history.
The IOC have further decided that Edwards' longest jump of 73.5 inches will now be the new World Record for the 70m event. Unfortunately Edwards travelled a negative distance when he fell off the edge of the ski slope in the 90m jump so he cannot be given the medal in that event.
The Olympic Committee have also rescinded the Eddie the Eagle Rule and in all future Olympic events competitors must be half blind, 80lbs overweight and have a paralyzing fear of heights.
The IOC is also considering awarding a medal posthumously to Eric the Eel who drowned during the 100m freestyle event in the Sydney Summer Olympics.
