Rowling announces another gay character, not long since Dumbledore came out of the closet!
London- It hasn't been long since she announced Dumbledore's homosexuality, but Joanne Kathleen Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, has now released information that both Ron Weasly and and Neville Longbottom both engaged in a sexual...
Read full storySurvivorman Shows How to Survive Around Cape Canaveral
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The next Survivorman Show will inform viewers how to survive a Shuttle launch as well as survival tips for the Cape Canaveral area.
Read full storyNew Brazilian Bikini Wax procedure may kill you, but it takes years off your hooch
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Already compared to child birthing and passing a kidney stone, many women are all to willing to endure such a painful procedure for the smooth clean look they get with a traditional Brazilian Bikini waxing. However, a new Bra...
Read full storyHard Shoulder given Cold Shoulder
Now that the Highways Agency have come up with the brilliant plan of opening up the hard shoulder on some of the UK's busiest motorways, hundreds of motorists have lodged complaints - they're queuing up!
Read full storyJohn Lennon's Ghost Does David Letterman
Just days ago Larry King interviewed Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono Lennon, and Olivia Harrison. John Lennon was so taken with the events in Vegas, surrounding the Cirque Du Soleil musical LOVE, he struck a deal with St. Peter and contacted Da...
Read full storyEvolution Disproven; Earth Shown to be Just 27 Years Old
The battle between evolutionism and creationism finally ended last Friday, when Theo Kratt, a graduate student at Oral Roberts University, declared the earth to be just 27 years old.
Read full storyMicrosoft buys stake in Fakebook
Cyberspace - (Dodgy Mess): Internet giant Microsoft has paid a reported $240m (£117m) for a 1.6% stake in the notorious Fakebook site that values the social nitworking scam at $15bn (£7.3bn).
Read full storyBlair signs £6 million Radon House gagging order
Connaught Square - (Disaster Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has signed a £6 million gagging order for his personal hagiography which publisher Radon House want to issue early next year.
Read full storyPrince Philip's secret heart condition revealed
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The Puppet Monarch's live-in rent boy Prince (sic) Philip has had a secret heart condition for 15 years according to Palace sources.
Read full storyIceland Renewed by American Influx
REYKJAVIK, ICELAND: The first boat bearing immigrants from the United States landed at several western Icelandic ports from Reykjavik to Husavik this morning just as the departure of the last groups of Icelanders for the warmer climes of Brazil, firs...
Read full storyMadeleine's Abductor Had No Face
A sketched picture of a man believed to look a bit like the person who may have abducted Madeleine McCann, if indeed, she has been abducted, has been hastily cobbled together in a joint venture by one of Mr and Mrs McCann's drunken friends, and an F...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi proclaims "let my criminals go!"
Washington D.C. (CNN) - Following the logic of the "path to citizenship" for illegal immigrants Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid have proposed legislation to free most of the criminals in American prisons today.
Read full storyThe Reason
What is reason? * Reason is a tool of just. * Reason decides justice or in justice. * Reason directs you towards justice. * Reason polishes your belief and faith. * Reason puts you in the row of honor. * Reason makes you bold and confident. * Reason activates your abilities. * Reason makes you to shine in the world. * Reason is a medium th...
Read full storyUK Fears a Buddhist takeover by 2015
In Seine news can exclusively reveal that Britain is suffering from 'Zenophobia'. This follows the government's plans to issue 'obesity' warnings to the parents of children as you...
Read full storyLaughing All The Way To The Wank
FIRST MINISTER Alex Salmond last night revealed a controversial plan to turn Scotland into an economic powerhouse - taxing masturbation.
Read full storySheep Stealing the Show
Joe Pasquale, comedy funnyman of international repute is to lose his gig as the presenter of epoch changing light entertainment show 'Tell me, is this your sheep?' to Les Dennis.
Read full storyNeanderthals Were 'Ginger Nuts' Like Chris Evans, Says Report
A report in a scientific journal claims that a DNA study has revealed that Neanderthals were redheads, like ex-Radio1 DJ and television presenter Chris Evans.
Read full storyCherie Blair joins cast of Ugly Betty
Famous rich person Cherie Blair is to join the cast of Ugly Betty for the next season of the programme.
Read full storyUS launches air strike on Al Jazeera website - graphics and popups destroyed
President Bush today announced a military strike on the Arab newspaper Al Jazeera's website. Although there were no human casualties, a number of graphics and some popup adverts were badly damaged or destroyed. The website was also down f...
Read full storyBoeing Answers Air Bus With Humongous Hydrogen Zepplin
New York, NY - Boeing officials today celebrated the launching of the worlds largest ever Hydrogen Zepplin, aimed directly at Air Bus facilities in France. Thousands of people were on hand to see the half a mile long dirigible, named the Led Zepplin...
Read full storyContagious Staph Infection Linked to Sue Grafton Book Signing
US and A (New England Journal of Medicaine) - U Is For Undiagnosed Staph Infection would be an appropriate title for the next Sue Grafton book, after a whirlwind book-signing tour across the lower 48 states in which scores of attendees were li...
Read full storyPregnant-With-Twins Jennifer Lopez Performs on Dancing with the Stars
Lost Angeles - The debate as to whether or not J. Lo is pregnant was pretty well answered on Tuesday night when her waters broke while she made a guest appearance on Dancing with the Stars. The 38-year-old Lopez, who also goes by th...
Read full storyLast Disco Skate Master Found!
This reporter has had the ultimate trill in being a part of a national search for the last remaining Champion Disco Skater.
Read full storySix illegal aliens arrested at Qualcomm Stadium for theft; caught stealing jobs from American born criminals
San Diego, California - Six illegal aliens were arrested at Qualcomm Stadium today for the theft of emergency supplies intended for the refuges of the California wildfires. When confronted by authorities in the their van, all readily confessed that t...
Read full storyHomeless Man Blows Savings On Booze Again
NEW YORK -- A homeless man in midtown Manhattan decided to spend all of his money on alcohol again early Friday morning. The man, who doesn't know his last name but thinks his first name might be Pete, used the $3.38 he collected in donations ove...
Read full storySenator Craig to be spokesman for Jiffy Lube
Washington insiders were not surprised today after senator Craig announced that he would go to work for fast lube-job specialists, Jiffy Lube.
Read full storyMarie Osmond says she fainted due to allergies triggered by all the smoke from the California wildfires; manager says it was a "contact buzz"
Burbank, California - American skipped a collective heartbeat when Marie Osmond suddenly collapsed after her dancing performance on this week ABC's hit show, Dancing With the Stars. In a press release today, Osmond attempted to ease everyone'...
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