The battle between evolutionism and creationism finally ended last Friday, when Theo Kratt, a graduate student at Oral Roberts University, declared the earth to be just 27 years old.
"Based on extensive and fatuous studies, I have concluded that the earth did not exist before 1980," stated Kratt. "For starters, I have no memory of any events prior to that date," said the 27 year-old. "Additionally, I think dinosaurs are a hoax. And carbon dating is silly. And that natural selection is dumb."
A spokesman for the Society To Undermine Principles In Darwinism (S.T.U.P.I.D.) generally applauded Kratt's work. "To be honest, we think he may be slightly off. Anyone with a brain knows the earth is between 6,000 and 10,000 years old. But 27 is much closer to the truth than the preposterous 4.5 billion years that those crazy evolutionists believe, so we support his work."
