Steven Stauntons chaotic and controversial tenure as manager of the Irish football team came to an end this evening after a hastily convened drinking session in a public house in Newbridge County Kildare.
FAI (Fuckall Association of Ireland) officials voted overwhelmingly to dispense with the Steve Stauntons services and moved swiftly to appoint his successor, Maurice Ball.
FAI chief executive John Delaney spoke to our Spoof Sports correspondent at the bar as he ordered another round of drinks,
"Say nuffin OK? That dopey good for nothing is gone, we have just appointed a world class manager for half the price that monosyllabicexpialidocious knob jockey was costing us.
"This evening we have managed to attain the signature of none other than Maurice Ball, 3 times winning manager of the under tens league in County Kildare, Newbridge Town were very good about it, we only have to pay them 2 million compenenenstation and Maurice is our man.
"Whoooooooo! Go Maurice ya boy ya!!!!!
"3 bags of cheese and onion please Letka."
After exhaustive enquiries we found Maurice 2 stools down and 3 sheets to the wind,
His official statement read,
"Lads! I'm fucked, get me a cab. I'm not fuckin walking! I'm the Gaffer now."
The 5 year, 7000 Euro a week contract was signed on a beermat after a huge drinking session and after consultation with our legal team it appears to be binding.
So, all that remains is to wish Maurice Ball 49, Electrician and spoof writer, all the best in his new job.
He cant do any fuckin worse!
Good luck Maurice.
