Friction Between Congress, Bush
There have been problems between President George Bush and several members of congress and the senate recently.
Read full storyLeave Chris Crocker Alone!
So sad Britney Spears is being hounded to the brink of death by sick paps and pisshead hacks, The Sauce can reveal. Taking her kids away seems like the final nail in the coffin but Britney is fighting back!...
Read full storyNew York's Famous Cat Burglar Caught!
New York, Rioters: Following the receipt of shockingly accurate reports from the FBI, and after a series of unfortunate mishaps that could have been inadvertently avoided, the NYPD today arrested the famous cat burglar who was believed to be terroriz...
Read full storyStudy Shows Torture Leads to Erroneous Confession
Erroneous Data Confession Syndrome (ED-CS), also known as rapid erudition, presupposed confession, or by the Latin term erudictio praefax, is the most common espionage problem in the DHS, affecting 25%-40% of detainees.
Read full storyAchmadmannutjob's Scorched-Middle-Earth Warheads Thwarted by Ron Paul Brigades
02 Oct 07, CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, MIDDLE EARTH-- Muckmud Achmadmannutjob, President of Iran, has once again escalated his threats against the Center of the Universe. An Iranian warhead exploded prematurely Sunday in Damascus, Syria, which early repo...
Read full storyKey to Global Cooling
Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory say Benjamin Franklin gave us the solution to Global Warming 225 years ago and we just didn't know it.
Read full storyJagger's advice to Amy Whinehouse
London - (Rehab Mess): "Quit moanin' about rehab and stop drinkin' sherry at The Whorley Arms ya dumbass fool!" Mich Jagger told London chanteuse Amy Whinehouse today.
Read full storySpeeding Ticket for Jeff Gordon
Kansas City rookie cop Jose Molina thought he had been given a defective radar gun last Sunday after the first car he pointed the device at appeared to be travelling at an astonishing 183 miles per hour.
Read full storySame old faces switching places: Cheney/Bush 2008
Washington, D.C. - Inspired by Putin running for the Russian parliament instead of stepping down from power, Hillary Clinton stepping up to power by running for office and dissatisfied with the way the Republican ticket is shaping up, Bush and Cheney...
Read full storyDiana inquest: crash interrupted massive $50 million Dodi coke deal
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (DeadEnd Mess): The inquest into the 1997 death of Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed has heard French investigative magistrates' testimony that the car crash fatally interrupted a massive $50 million cocaine deal tha...
Read full storyMadonna helping Britney with secret London move after child custody fiasco
Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Madonna is secretly helping beleaguered Britney Spears to move to London after the Californian singer's temporary loss of custody of her two young sons to money-grubbing ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Read full storyOops. The U.S.Senate And Hillary Do It Again
Forget Britney Spears and her missing panties. Without the use of whiskey, Kool-Aid, mind enhancing mushrooms, steroids, drugs, coffee, tea or milk, the United States Senate voted to pass the Joe Lieberman resolution on Iran's Republican Guard, a...
Read full storyHeather Mills' mansion completely surrounded by foot 'n' mouth
Leatherhead, Slurry - (DumbBeast Mess): Heather Mills' country mansion, Dunslaggin', is believed to be at the core of a ten mile radius foot and mouth exclusion zone today amid reports that the vegan loudmouth herself is being investigated fo...
Read full storyWorld Getting Dumber - IQ's Drop 15 Points
As the world gets more complicated and machines are getting smarter it appears that people are getting dumber.
Read full storyMenezes jury told how Brazilian "walked suspiciously" to tube station
A jury hearing about the killing of innocent Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes was told how the 27-year old electrician supposedly "walked like a terrorist from a house to Stockwell station".
Read full storyAl Gore Warns of New Environmental Crisis
Now that he has found the solution to global warming (it's global air conditioning) former Vice President, Oscar winner and environmental activist, Al Gore, warns of a new environmental crisis threatening our planet: Global storming.
Read full storyMadeleine McCann: Portuguese police challenge British police to a fight
While the world looks on in amazement, Portuguese police officers have made a number of insulting remarks against their British counterparts, alleging that they don't know how to do their job and only investigate what parents Ger...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Banned From Dribbling
Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United striker, has received a ten-match ban from dribbling, to take effect immediately, the FA has announced.
Read full storyToddler survives tower block fall
A four-year-old boy is recovering in hospital after falling from the ninth floor of a block of flats.
Read full storyTheSpoof Goes Undercover, Gets 'Down and Dirty' on Set of 'Kid Nation'
Bonanza City (The Daily Diaper) - Kids just wanna have fun! So, who in their moment of drug-induced, alcohol-soaked, anything-for-ratings mental meltdown would put a bunch of spoiled brats in the same scene and expect them to "p...
Read full storyDisgruntled Alien Dad Desecrates Glastonbury Tor
The historic tower on Glastonbury Tor has been daubed with paint and covered with purple paint on its southern face.
Read full storyDiana inquest "To invent time machine"
The current inquest into the death of Diana, Princess of Tarts, is to invent a time machine in order to select jury members from the past.
Read full story94% of Jerks are also Pricks, Study Finds
Glasgow, Scotland - Postgraduate researchers at the University of Strathclyde now have compelling evidence linking two personality types: 'Jerks' and 'Pricks'.
Read full storySpeaking Up For the Rich - The Tories Are Back
At yesterday's Conservative party conference, shadow chancellor George Osborne pledged to cut all taxes for Britain's hard-pressed rich people. 19 million hard-working rich people in Britain who struggled to buy their own homes, will now no l...
Read full storyBritney Spears, Free at Last, Free at Last
After many months of strained concerted effort Britney Spears has finally broken free the bonds that held her. Yes, a judge finally signed an order telling Britney Spears she had to hand over custody of her two children, two year old, Sean Preston an...
Read full storyCarolina Finalizes Secession; CSA Elects Ron Paul 2nd President, Ray McKinney Veep
01 Oct 07, ANDERSON, SC, CSA-- In a whirlwind coup, South Carolina today ratified its secession from the United States (which occurred in 1860) and transferred its governmental powers to the Confederate States of America. Though the CSA had failed to...
Read full storyNewt Gingrich won't run for the most powerful position in the world, the Vice Presidency; blames ethical campaign finance reform
Washington, D.C. - Former Speaker of the House (1995-1999), Newt Gingrich, who, along with a whole lot of Republicans (and a couple of Democrats who defected to the GOP, like rats leaving a sinking ship), came into power in 1994 at the flowering of t...
Read full storyKFC To Use Endangered Artic Chickens! PETA Protests
Louisville, KY - Today Colonel Sanders announced at a startling news conference KFC's newest menu addition, a special "Endangered Species" menu.
Read full story"24" style torture is okay with Bill "I Feel Your Pain" Clinton; Supreme Court ban on "The Third Degree" in real jeopardy now
Washington, D.C. - Surprising his wife, Hillary Clinton, with yet another revelation that this time she cannot attribute to Newt Gingrich or a Right Wing conspiracy, Bill "Deliverance" Clinton announced that he wishes the government had mor...
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