94% of Jerks are also Pricks, Study Finds

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

image for 94% of Jerks are also Pricks, Study Finds
Wot you lookin' at Jimmy?!

Glasgow, Scotland - Postgraduate researchers at the University of Strathclyde now have compelling evidence linking two personality types: 'Jerks' and 'Pricks'.

Previously, the connection between these two types of behaviors was grossly underestimated. But new testing methods have shed light into regions that now allow scientists to more accurately map the slight variations within these and other personality disorders.

"No two Pricks are alike. Just as no two Jerks are alike. The same goes with Assholes. But we are seeing many more commonalities. The difference between a true 'Jerk', 'Prick' and 'Asshole' is mainly minor nuance," said Assistant Lead Research Assistant, Humperdink Fangboner. "The most striking thing, however, is that these traits appear to run in families. So the evidence points to a genetic component."

When asked what he thought about the new study, one man (pictured above) said this: "Get the <bleep> out of my face, you <bleeping><bleep> before I break your <bleep> off in your <bleep> !"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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