Bonanza City (The Daily Diaper) - Kids just wanna have fun! So, who in their moment of drug-induced, alcohol-soaked, anything-for-ratings mental meltdown would put a bunch of spoiled brats in the same scene and expect them to "play nice?" (That was a rhetorical question, by the way, for all you CBS idea people.)
No adults, huh?! TheSpoof.com went undercover just long enough to expose the blatant attempt by CBS to pull the wool over unsuspecting viewers' eyes. What's worse, and the veritable tip of the iceberg, is the disgusting discovery of degenerates. "Little people" parading around as little kids in and among the real little kids are daring to debauch the defenseless darlings to the delight of their demented dreams.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on. The Spoof's deep cover correspondent, codename "Brat," otherwise known as supposed ten-year-old Peter Dowt, became a victim himself while producing this exclusive exposé. It seems more than a little odd that numerous moustaches, piercings, tattoos and other decidedly adult accoutrements, not to mention nose hairs, varicose veins and d-cups on what were purportedly prepubescent poppets didn't raise a single CBS producer's eyebrow.
While the camera captured touching scenes of "a society being born" in the desolate desert destination, other touching scenes that didn't make the cut were taking place behind closed doors. Nine months from now, CBS has already scheduled a return to Kid Nation, with an update on how the population has 'mysteriously' grown even though no other outsiders were allowed to enter.
Letting Nature take its course takes on a whole new meaning. Billed as educational fare, apparently the 'child stars' were getting a whole different dimension of what the birds and bees are all about, all while the audience is left totally clueless. Hey, if they're watching this drivel, they're clueless!
ABC's 'America's Most Wanted' and NBC's 'To Catch a Predator' are poised to descend on this childish calamity, as they attempt to 'clean up' the town in their own attempt to steal ratings. The Fox Network, however, will remain fair and balanced, sitting in the press box, calling the shots as they happen.
