Britney Spears Institutionalized Prematurely
TINSELTOWN, CALIFORNIA-(SHOWBIZKNEWZ)The Balding Bafoony Bubble Brained, Britney Spears, is in the news today. She was admitted this past weekend to Ceder Cyanide Medical Center complaining of a toothache
Read full storySnow Blasts Oncologist's Comments as "Emboldening Cancer"
White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, today, blasted his oncologist for what he called "a blatant, and totally irresponsible mischaracterization of the battle against [Snow's] cancer."...
Read full story"Tough Sailing Ahead For Microsoft," Says Chairman Gates. Cites Lack Of Intellectual Property To Pirate.
"Microsoft is marching through rough waters," said a somber but belligerent William Gates, founder and principle shareholder of Microsoft at the annual shareholders' meeting held today in the Peoples Hall Of Friendly Progressive Socia...
Read full storyDotcom becoming common surname
Computer geeks aren't satisfied with their screen names, they're becoming them.
Read full storyTopless MILF Iraqi Protestors Sign with Vivid Video
(Hollywood--CA) Steven Hirsch, President of adult entertainment behemoth Vivid Video, is a pornographer with a social conscience. "I was at the anti-Iraq war protest at the Pentagon a few weeks ago. And I see these five topless mothers each carr...
Read full storyTMNT protested by PETA, protested by AI, protested by ACLU, protested by CCA, protested by AU, protested by Rev. Phelps
TMNT, the new CGI movie based on the comic book "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" opened to throngs of protesters of all persuasions, most of whom were protesting each other.
Read full storyJeb Bush can't get into the University of Florida
Former Gov. Jeb Bush was denied an honorary degree at the University of Florida as a result of a 38-28 vote. He was said to be rejected for a variety of reasons, but one concern was his educational record.
Read full storyPM Warns Iran That His Dire Poll Rating Could Worsen
Efforts to improve the poll standing of the Prime Minister will enter a "different phase" if diplomatic moves to release the fifteen Navy personnel fail, Tony Blair has said. Tony Blair has promised to leave office soon, but kept his finger...
Read full storyRove Testimony Comes with Conditions
WASHINGTON D.C. - Amid the swirl of controversy surrounding the firing of eight U.S. attorneys allegedly for political reasons, what the president did or did not know remains under scrutiny. One of the president's chief advisors, Karl Rove, has b...
Read full storyCops tie underwear thief to haul of panties
Pullman, Washington - (Ass Press): Police are congratulating themselves afer successfully tying a 24 year old underwear fetishist to a haul of 1500 women's undergarments after a relentless undercover operation lasting many weeks.
Read full storyQueen dumps Clinton ahead of US visit
Buckingham Palace - (Rioters): As a major arselicking favor to the Bush Administration the minions in charge of the Buckingham Palace website have deleted all photographs of Bill and Hillary Clinton's official visits to the UK during the time of...
Read full storyMissing Pages Found of Bob Woolmer's Autobiography - Said to be 'Well Written'
The missing pages of Bob Woolmer's autobiography have been found buried in a cricket pitch in Bermuda. Police immediately seized the pages in hope that it would shed some light on Woolmer's killer.
Read full storyElton gives Britney the hairdryer treatment in Stern interview.
Oops! Sir Elton's done it again, this time the target of the rocket man's newly primed missile is the much maligned and publicly played out demise and fall of the former princess of pop Britney Spears.
Read full storyJoy at Slavery Thanksgiving Service
London - (Rotters): "Rejoice, we have got away with it," the Archbishop of Canterbury told a grateful Hellfire Club congregation at the Slavery Thanksgiving Service in Westminster Abbey today.
Read full storyRooney And McClaren Make Up
Wayne Rooney and England manager Steve McClaren have had a tiff, and it's not about football. They've been arguing about whether or not Rooney's Manchester United team mate Crustiano Retardo
Read full storyBig Brother Britain Is Being Watched
Britain is fast becoming a Big Brother state, according to the Metro newspaper which is distributed freely to passengers on buses and trains throughout the UK.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Asserts "The State Is Me" As Congressmen Erect Guillotine
WASHINGTON (AP) - Echoing the final years of the absolutist French monarchy, President George Bush appeared before Congress on Wednesday and asserted "L'État, c'est moi" ("The State is me") as he claimed that only his God-...
Read full storyAskFrFred44Giveness Has Guest Confessor for Holy Week!
With The Very Mostest Reverend Fr Frederick "The Great" Titslesin on his usual Passion Week ski vacation and High Holy Days Carnival Cruise, thespoof has managed to get none other than Catholic Cleric and Romance Novelist and Sociologist and Irish bullshit artist, Andy Da Greedy.
Read full storyPhoenix-Glendale Prepares for new Super Bowl: say Bye, Bye, Bums!
Firms across Arizona are scrambling for contracts from construction, maintenance to food service to take advantage of the promise of a SuperBowl economic boom. If history is any guide the most lucrative industrial opportunity may be the BUTS - The Bu...
Read full storyBill Gates named 'Ninja of the Year'
WASHINGTON - Microsoft chairman Bill Gates received a boatload of honorary awards Tuesday, including the much-coveted Ninja of the Year accolade from the Japanese prime minister.
Read full storyNCAA Florida Offending Champs' Slogan:"Keep Hating!!"
In the age of hate crimes with hate groups multiplying faster than Ann Coulter's boners (good name for a hate group) Florida's defending ncaa tournament champions are motivating each other with the chant: "Keep Hating!"...
Read full story'300' May Inspire Teens!
The 300 may inspire teens to study history according the Eddie Acorn of the Hopewell Junction Dreamer: "This cartoonish misrepresentation of Greek historian Herodotus' misrepresentation of the Persian War may be just the thi...
Read full storyMrs Borat Says:"I Am So Ashamed!"
Mrs Amalia Ivavanovna Borat, mother of comic film star, Borat, has declared her humiliation because of her son's recent film behavior.
Read full storyPrince Harry to go on intensive drinking and fighting training tour of Dublin pubs.
Dublin - Hot on the heels of Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley agreeing to share power in Northern Ireland the Irish government offered another gesture of good will towards the English nation today when Irish Premier Bertie Ahearn offered to take Prince Ha...
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