Kiwi Kiri's Knickergate
In court for the 98th day of continuous cross-examination, Dame Kiwi Ke Tanawa insisted the smell of fetid underwear was why she could not go ahead with a tour with Aussie John Farnham.
Read full story'Jesus Forgives Osama' ignites Pat Robertson
Sydney, Australia - (Rioters): A Sydney baptist church's placard proclaiming that Jesus Forgives Osama has outraged age-defying protein pancake peddler the Reverend Pat Robertson into condemning Antipodean theology as perverted homosexual brainwa...
Read full storyInternational Footballer's Conference at Dubliner's Brennan's Pub
In pubs across the Isles and the Continent footballers and their fans were stunned by Sicily's cancellation of the sport after riots took the life of a policeman in Catania. This reporter went to Trevor Brennan's pub where an international me...
Read full storyBritney's offers make Kevin hurl with laughter
STALKING, La. -- Kevin Federline has rejected a $25-million-divorce settlement from Britney Spears because, sources say, "Kevin wants more than that."...
Read full storyYouth Fires Gun In McDonalds: Claims He "Didn't Know What It Was"
The boy held for firing a gun in his local McDonalds has protested innocence today, claiming that he had no idea what he was holding and wanted to see what it would do.
Read full storyScientists realise: The world IS flat
The solution to climate change was proclaimed this morning by top government research scientists, and surprised many.
Read full storyDeal Or No Deal's Noel Edmonds Admitted to Psychiatric Hospital
The famous TV present Noel Edmonds has been locked up in the nuthouse after 'hearing voices' live on his successful TV programme 'Deal or No Deal'.
Read full storyBaskin-Robbins Comes up with Solution to Global Warming
"Our solution?" Baskin-Robbins says .. "Eat more Baskin-Robbins ice cream". At first glance anybody with a chicklet for a brain would laugh out loud at their "solution" but some meteorological scientists...
Read full storyBUSH-SPEAK, a Much Abridged Dictionary
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S DICTIONARY is, by anyone's measure, a lexicon that adds a myriad of new definitions to our language. Over the past six years, our inference of the world of word-meanings has undergone a metamorphosis due quite literally to George W. Bush and his confederates. Naturally, in such a wholesale re-working of the language, we cannot expect to present a comprehensive lis...
Read full storyBotham Slams Useless Aussies
Ian 'Beefy' Botham, in a sensational attack has slammed the entire Australian test cricket side as being abysmal.
Read full storySolution Found For Intrusive "Helicopter Parents;" "Send 'em To Fight In The War"
As many parents landed their helicopters on the decks of the USS Abraham Lincoln located in the Persian Gulf this morning, a sterling initiative was sparked by the president and the new, Democratic Congress. "Helicopter parents" wh...
Read full storyRare Evidence Of Comedy Double Act Finally Sees The Light Of Day
Sensational entertainment news today as rare tapes of a hitherto unknown comedy double act have come to light at BBC TV Centre.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Breasts Admit to Having Nipple Job Done
In a shocking tell all body-part expose with Mike Wallace's nose, Lindsay Lohan's left and right breasts admitted yesterday to having their nipples enhanced by a controversial new surgical procedure.
Read full storyFinal Nixon Watergate Tapes Released
In early 1975, President Gerald Ford discovered a box of cassette tapes inside of the box springs in the Presidential Bedroom. The President and First Lady, thinking they might be musical, listened to one of them and learned that they were actually...
Read full storyNoses of Witnesses at Scooter Libby Trial Grow Longer and Longer
"The number of Pinocchio-style noses here is amazing," announced a startled watcher of the CIA leak case trial.
Read full storyFootballer injured: out for 3 months
Footballer Johnny Footballer, who plays football for Football United, is not going to play football for a while due to a hamstering injury.
Read full storyMicrosoft Muddle
[Gates Land] - Windows Vista has hit the market, but Microsoft may hit the dirt. Apple has told it's consumers that current iPod devices and software will not be compatible with Vista for some time. Now that might not sound like a big deal, but...
Read full storyThe Worst Wookie
[Hollywood] - So there Chewie was, begging for a buck. He had been whoring himself out for years to tourists in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre. But this past Thursday Chewbacca crossed into the Dark Side when a tour guide began whimpering n...
Read full story"BEANO" Thanks the Royal Couple for Coming Forth
First, it was a poorly disguised anonymous e-mail to sex advisers; then the British and US Gossip rags jumped all over it. Finally a hidden listening device paid f...
Read full storyBush Receives The Butcher of Baghdad Award
The glorious and coveted golden figure was enshrined upon the mantle of a certain Iraqi tyrant (whom shall remain headless) for many years.
Read full storyInternet Sex Store Goes Public
The sex supply store on the skinternet founded by Sexgurus King Havinghurst and Queen Colleen Dawurst, Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia.cum, has made its first public offering at a press conference in an undisclosed location in a Liverpool pub.
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