Sydney, Australia - (Rioters): A Sydney baptist church's placard proclaiming that Jesus Forgives Osama has outraged age-defying protein pancake peddler the Reverend Pat Robertson into condemning Antipodean theology as perverted homosexual brainwashing resulting from a lack of national moral fiber:
"This is typical sacriledge from the lawless descendants of a former penal colony. If they renounced their national addiciton to buggery and got some wholesome roughage into their diet the Lord might just overlook this heathen glitch", he said.
But the Sydney baptist church's rector remains defiant despite the severity of Robertson's warning:
"Of course Jesus forgives Osama, same as he forgives the Reverend Robertson for duping his gullible pancake buyers into believing that the age-defying element he is promoting is some tasty organic morsel. It's not.
"Last week the Australian Food Standards Commission finally unravelled his secret recipie and found it contained 75% canine semen, extracted under highly dubious circumstances.
"We think the Reverend should show us the video. Second thoughts, maybe not."
There has been no comment from the 700 Club studios.