Baskin-Robbins Comes up with Solution to Global Warming

Written by President Bush

Sunday, 4 February 2007

image for Baskin-Robbins Comes up with Solution to Global Warming

"Our solution?" Baskin-Robbins says .. "Eat more Baskin-Robbins ice cream". At first glance anybody with a chicklet for a brain would laugh out loud at their "solution" but some meteorological scientists are indeed at least pondering Baskin's solution with one NASA climatologist going on to say,

"It makes sense in a cool, refreshing Tastee Freeze sort of way what they recommend. However we're still not sure though of Baskin-Robbins theorizing that everybody on the planet eating an extra ice cream cone per day will stop the polar ice caps from melting and life as we know it on planet Earth ceasing to exist."

Baskin-Robbins Scientists (Cream-ologists) however are convinced that their ice cream can in fact SAVE the world if everyone on the planet did their part and simply ate more Baskin-Robbins ice cream. One Baskin Cream-ologist said,

"It's been scientifically substantiated that a single Baskin-Robbins Pralines 'n Cream Double Chocolate cone eaten slowly over a period of 4 minutes emits enough "cold" to cool the Earth's atmosphere by over
0.0000000000000000000000000002 degrees. Multiply that single double chocolate cone 3 billion times and we're talking serious "cold" distribution here all across the face of the planet."

Venus with a surface temperature of 890 degrees HAS a surface temperature of 890 degrees because of .. (ding) global warming. Baskin-Robbins says that they do NOT want the Earth to suffer the fate of Venus and wind up so hot that a full size Toyota Camry will simply melt in the shade. Baskin-Robbins promises (as seen in their new upbeat Super Bowl commercial),

"Eat our ice cream, live. Don't, die. The future is in YOUR hands, yum."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more