International Footballer's Conference at Dubliner's Brennan's Pub

Written by Pointer

Sunday, 4 February 2007

image for International Footballer's Conference at Dubliner's Brennan's Pub
Brennan serves the best lemonade in all of Dublin!

In pubs across the Isles and the Continent footballers and their fans were stunned by Sicily's cancellation of the sport after riots took the life of a policeman in Catania. This reporter went to Trevor Brennan's pub where an international meeting of footballers was being held to discuss the shocking event. Participants asked that their names be withheld so the debate could proceed without reluctance.

A Liverpudlian goalie spoke up first: "By God, we kill a bobbie after every win and two if we lose!"

An ex-French team star bragged: "Aw, dat eez no ting. I 'ave personally 'eadbutted a squad car full of gendarmes!".

A Spanish player not to be outdone claimed to have killed a dozen Guardia Civil and their caballos.

The tales of violence against the police went on through the night as the pitchers of lemonade were being emptied at lightning speed. The last man standing was a Dubliner who surprisingly concurred with the Italian decision: "Oove neva kilt an Irish p'liceman and it'id be a Gawd's honest shame if anywon did", he slurred clearly drowning in lemonade, "But let me tell ya 'bout the time we won that big one in Ulster..."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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