May Day Is VECO Day
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): President George Bush says he will rescue the VECO Corrupt Bastards Club catastrophe tomorrow, but wants to work with Democrats to find a compromise on getting Attorney General Alberto Gonzales off the hook for Justice De...
Read full storyFormer Beatles Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr to Finish Lost Britney Spears Song
Former Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will finish and record a lost Britney Spears song for release later this year, sources in the music industry are reporting.
Read full storyTony Snow back at work after tumor removed from old toupee
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Sporting a brand new bouffant hair-piece White House shock-jock Tony Snow grinned broadly on his first day back at work following the news that his old Colon Bowel cancer which had metastased to his former toupee had been...
Read full storyMoose&Squirrel Makes Bid to Become Fourth Stooge
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - TheSpoof.com - Moose&Squirell named Jalapenoman, Cal Jennings and Gnarley Eric...The New 3 Stooges... We believe this was her bid to be the Fourth Stooge. We all know that Curly and Shemp alternated on The Three Stooges, so w...
Read full storyConfirmed: Harry to be sent to Iraq despite fears of ginger baiting
Prince Harry will be sent to Iraq, chief of war-mongering, General Sir Les Avvum, announced this morning, despite fears that his overt gingerness may make him a target for Iraqi militia.
Read full storyThe Fart of Destiny...gods beware the wind of Man!
DISCLAIMER: The following is a frank discussion of a bodily function for the purposes of philosophy. Those of you repulsed by either, please don't read. (New York-NY) It's not gray hair, beginning to surround my temples and most of my head(s), that I fear is telling me I'm aging. It isn't even me having to say, "What did you say?" if I'm listening to someone with more than two other people talk...
Read full storyIlluminati warn Blair Wallpurgis Night is his last as PM
London - (Rioters): Hellfire Club grandees and thirty-third degree Illuminati elders have warned UK Prime Monster Tony Blair that Wallpurgis Night will be his last ever in 10 Downing Street.
Read full storyKate Middleton: the day I found out I'd never be Queen
London - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton has confided in her close-nit (sic) circle of friends that it was well over a year ago that Buckingham Palace courtiers told her that she would never be Queen.
Read full storyMourinho slams Mourinho in embarassing gaffe
Chelsea officials are seeking to play down last night's bizarre scenes as manager Jose Mourinho unleashed the latest of his trademark verbal assaults on... Jose Mourinho.
Read full storyPete Prats About at Kate Moss Top Shop Debut
London ground to a standstill today as The Top Shop Kate Moss collection hit the shelves. Women as thin as slivers of twig queued around the block of the flagship store in an attempt to get in first, grab a few garments and flog them on Ebay for mega...
Read full storyCilla Black has blind date with ET
Cilla Black has stated that she has been abducted by aliens. The Blind Date host said that she was blindfolded and abducted by "alien life forms" many times in the past and that these aliens have hosted many of her shows in the mid 90s.
Read full storyNasa 'Rejects Russia Moon help'
The head of Russia's space agency says that the US has rejected a Moscow proposal that the two countries join forces to explore the Moon.
Read full storyPaul Wolfowitz Arrested For TMFP
Washington Toast - Paul Wolfowitz, President of the World Bank, former under Secretary of Defense and architect of the Iraq war, was arrested today by D.C. police for what was called: TMFP; or more colloquially known as, 'Taking money from the po...
Read full storyQueen breaks silence over royal split
The Queen has finally broken her silence over the part she played in the recent break-up of the relationship between William and Kate Middleton.
Read full storyBomb was potentially 'catastrophic'
Five men have been convicted at the Old Bailey of conspiring to cause explosions in Britain. The trial heard they had enough explosives for a gigantic bomb of planet destroying proportions.
Read full storyTheSpoof.com turns Pay Site
Bermuda Triangle, Apr 31 - In a major blow to genuine reporters all over the world, TheSpoof.com, a site that has always prided itself on its discretion and politeness in a world of rogues and disclosures, today announced that it would no longer be a...
Read full storyTrain Freight to Launch 32 Ship Zeppelin Advertising Campaign
Kansas City - April 30, 2007: Kansas City Southern and Burlington Northern-Santa Fe, to industry dominant companies in the train freight business, announced Sunday that they plan to implement a must stronger advertising campaign over the next few yea...
Read full story"Had you back" says Blair
In a surprise outburst in the Commons today, outbound PM Tony Blair shouted "Had you back" at a surprised David Cameron.
Read full storyLeeds United: Extra Point "Rubbish" Says Bates
Leeds United officials have described as "rubbish" claims made by The Spoof writer Monkey Woods, that the Yorkshire club has been awarded a precious bonus point by the Football Association...
Read full storyMystery of dead church organist found in giant vacuum-sealed plastic bag
Teeside - (Rotters): Police were baffled by the bizarre find of a dead church organist, 48 year old Ian Kemp from Stockton, whose naked shackled body was discovered inside a giant plastic bag "the sort coke dealers use for their one gram deals b...
Read full storyWhite House to make guns more easily available.
International News Orifice: - The Oval Office has knee jerked a press statement out due to rising pressure from the Anti gun lobby as well as the NRA.
Read full storyDa Vinci Code's Rosslyn Chapel spoofs music sleuths
Scotland - (Ass Mess): A father and son sleuthing team has been spoofed into finding "a secret piece of ancient sacred music" hidden in carvings at the Rosslyn Chapel, the famous medieval church featred in Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.
Read full storyNASA to Restructure FAG-ASS Program
HOUSTON, TX (AP Newsliar) -- Johnson Space Center officials today confirmed that NASA intends to restructure the Fully Articulated Gyro-Assisted Space Suit (FAG-ASS) program, a project to develop the space program's next generation of space suits...
Read full storyBolton Wanderers: Big Sam, Little Sam
Bolton Wanderers have announced that little Sammy Lee has been appointed as the club's new manager as the replacement for outgoing boss Sam Allardyce. The Lancashire side's reluctance to hir...
Read full storyLegally Bombed: critics pan Broadway musical
Broadway - (Ass Mess): She ain't no Reese Witherspoon and she ain't no Maria Callas. That is the critics' verdict this weekend on Broadway actress Elle Woods in the starring role of Laura Bell Bundy in Legally Blonde the Musical.
Read full story"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" star Boy George on S&M kidnap charges
London - (Ass Mess): A typical Saturday night out on the town turned sour for Norwegian male escort Auden Carlsen, 28, who has claimed to police that singer Boy George and a male friend kidnapped him before chaining him to a wall in his London home.
Read full storyMovie star Maiko Kawakami offers Sony Corporation her poodle lamb
Tokyo, Japan - (Ass Mess): Japanese movie starlet Maiko Kawakami has offered the Sony Corporation use of the specially faked lamb which she bought on the internet along with 2,000 of her compatriots after being duped into believing it was a new rare...
Read full storyGlow-in-the-dark budgies
Budgerigars have long been a favourite pet, particularly amongst the elderly. They require little maintenance, and exercise themselves if you leave the cage door open.
Read full storyBob Woolmer Poisoned With Rohypnol
A BBC investigation has learned that the ex-Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer was poisoned before he was strangularised.
Read full storyMillion Dollar I.D. Theft Ring Run By Kids Busted
SPRINGFIELD, COLORADO--(BREAKING NEWS) An FBI task force swooped in and arrested 38 Springfield Junior High School students with ages ranging from 10 to 15 years old & 2 adults on serious I.D. theft...
Read full storyLeeds United: A Lifeline?
Leeds United, relegated from football's Championship at the weekend, were this morning handed an incredible lifeline by the Football Association for their never-say-die attitude at the end of Saturday's 1-1 draw with
Read full storyMiss 'Captain' America joins crime fighting forces with 'America's Most Wanted'
New York, New York - Making good on a pageant promise to take a bite out of crime, Miss 'Captain' America, as law officials affectedly donned her, Lauren Nelson, joined crime-fighting forces with American's Most Wanted famous crime fighti...
Read full storyProtestors Demand Bush Impeachment at Speech
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Miami - Hundreds of protesters gathered at the Kendell Miami-Dade College campus where President George W. Bush spoke on Saturday afternoon. An estimated 200 protesters were around the fence and there were an estimated 600 alt...
Read full storyTanker Fire Melts Oakland Freeway
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Oakland, CA - An exploding gasoline tanker melted the steel underbelly of a highway overpass in the East Bay's MacArthur Maze early this morning, causing it to collapse onto the roadway below. Gay Rights activists claim th...
Read full storyRebuild Projects in Iraq Failing
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Iraq - The American-financed rebuilding program federal oversight agency has found that in a sampling of eight projects that the United States had declared successes, seven were no longer operating as designed because of plumbi...
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