Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Sporting a brand new bouffant hair-piece White House shock-jock Tony Snow grinned broadly on his first day back at work following the news that his old Colon Bowel cancer which had metastased to his former toupee had been successfully removed at the Mayo Clinic.
Snow, 58, said he would be undergoing a series of chemo treatments including a few highlights, lowlights and root-perm therapy to 'nip the problem in the bud'.
"These days cancer is treatable like a chronic condition such as split ends, dandruff, itchy/sensitive scalp syndrome, psoraiasis and male-pattern baldness," Snow told his Gaggle chums.
"But I'm not one to let it beat me at a time when the President needs me here most of all, during this hellish week....er, that is.... during the landmark visit of Queen Elizabeth of England later this week, when all eyes will be focused on Mr Bush and the First Lady as they entertain the royal couple to a State Banquet.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, cancer or no cancer. My President needs me and I'll be here for him."
The State Visit starts on May 3rd, always assuming the old Jemima Puddleduck puppet monarch doesn't suddenly drop dead from over-exposure to the Bush reign of terror...