Illuminati warn Blair Wallpurgis Night is his last as PM

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 30 April 2007

image for Illuminati warn Blair Wallpurgis Night is his last as PM
Wallpurgis night: Blair's last in No 10

London - (Rioters): Hellfire Club grandees and thirty-third degree Illuminati elders have warned UK Prime Monster Tony Blair that Wallpurgis Night will be his last ever in 10 Downing Street.

And that on Beltane, or May Day as it is popularly known, the world "will see him dragged kicking, screaming and shackled" to HMP Belmarsh along with his entire Cabinet, Front Benches and 99% of the Parliamentary Labour Party.

Walpurgis is traditionally the eve-of-summer celebration that marks the return of the Goddess and the end of winter.

But in Hellfire Club parlance it is also the long-dreaded Day of Judgement when the cash-for-honors police get the wink from Crown Prosecutors over the 10,000 page dossier of corruption evidence on the Blair regime and its collusion partners in Buckingham Palace.

At White's Club in St James's, home of the Mayfair Chapter of the Illuminati inner circle, the tarot cards cast for the Month of May were a grim portrayal of impending doom for the dying throes of the Bush Reign of Terror.

In a ten card spread based on the question "What are the omens for the Blair Government in the month of May?" the Tarot drew the following sequence:

Wheel of Fortune, Nine of Swords, Ten of Swords. The Hierophant, The Fool, Temperance. The Hanged Man, The Tower, the Devil and Judgement.

All eyes will be on Drowning Street tomorrow morning as dawn breaks and ushers in the Beltane nemesis.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more