Scotland - (Ass Mess): A father and son sleuthing team has been spoofed into finding "a secret piece of ancient sacred music" hidden in carvings at the Rosslyn Chapel, the famous medieval church featred in Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.
Stuart Mitchell, 41 and his father Tommy, 75, have claimed their historic find was secreted under the Chapel's standing stones and when they deciphered it the resulting song astonished them with its complexity and beauty.
The paid were mysteriously attracted into probing the Chapel's angelic fingures located at the base of elaborate Jeffrey Archer-esque arches surrounding the altar which portray angelic figures holding musical instruments.
Months of painstaking research led them to conclude they had discovered an extraoridnary cryptic pattern on the masonry which, when decoded using precepts of Sacred Geometry, then translated into an ethereal medieval song.
But historical experts have panned the discovery after hearing the resulting melody that has been gleaned from this bold sleuthing endeavor and said the ditty is horribly reminiscent of the earliest known version of Three Blind Mice
Stuart Mitchell has countered the criticism by saying the melody "could have been hidden because knowledge of harmonics may have been seen as dangerous, even heretical, by 15th Century church authorities".
The director of the Edinbrgh Symphonia, however, disagrees and has said such a suggestion is foolish in the extreme.
"What we have here is a complete lot of bollox touted by a father and son combo pitching for a slice of the Dan Brown ££££s fortune."