Rocker Elvis Costello’s new song about an obsolete form of technology is climbing up the charts. The chart topper, “Poor Fractured MP3 Player”, is his biggest hit since 2010 when “CD Walkman Out of Time” hit the Top 40. Since his first hit about a...
The US CDC issued incredibly obvious advice this week on the coronavirus that even a 3-year-old child would understand. "The best thing to do if you feel like you are getting sick, is to go to the doctor," CDC officials said, in a dire warning to...
The Marvel Universe is expanding as parent company Disney announced its latest entry, Aunt Man and Uncle Woman. Aunt Man and Uncle Woman are not your typical superheroes. They are crossdressing crusaders who use deception to fool the bad guys.
For ages, man, as in the species not some random guy, has sought the fountain of youth. They found it in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but it was the bad one that no one saw, so people have no idea where they found it. But now scient...
A local man from Dookiesville Township has come clean on a lifelong problem that has plagued him his entire life from birth to how old he is now, or, in other words as long as he has lived, which many people refer to as lifelong. He can't spell th...
The Boston Celtics lost to the Philadelphia 76ers Wednesday after Kyrie Irving missed a last second shot that he tried to drop kick into the hoop. “For the last shot, I called a play to get the ball to Kyrie, who would then drop kick the ball into...
The pharmaceutical industry has come up with a new drug to combat the growing problem of reptile dysfunction. “Reptile dysfunction is a serious problem in America,” said Doug Waxler, CEO of Philadelphia-based Addictive Pharmaceuticals Inc. “We see...
A man questioned his choices in life while sitting alone on Saturday afternoon watching second-rate football on TV. “Where did I go wrong?” he asked himself. He wondered how he got to this point in his life where he is sitting at home on a beautif...
A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...
The Super Bowl is today, and millions of people will be tuned-in to see the debut of ads that they will grow to hate for the rest of the year. “Last year, I remember being giddy with excitement when I saw that Bud Knight commercial, but now, when...
Just because a wall is a menacing symbol of division, intolerance, and paranoia, doesn’t mean it can’t be pretty, said noted interior designer, Gayle Douglas, of the hit HGTV show 'Screwdriver Wars.’ Douglas said this week that the region really n...
The NBS network is getting ready to roll out a new sitcom Monday night called "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl." "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl" is about four friends living in the Big City trying to navigate through...
A local man was proud of the fact that he did the bare minimum in a democratic society and voted today. "I put my sticker on and I posted on Facebook to tell everyone I voted," said Kurt McCray of the local area. "I also implored them to vote beca...
Fleetwood Mac's greatest hit, 'Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow', is the source of mental anguish and frustration for one local man. The lyrics say, "don't stop thinking about tomorrow," but then, in the same breath, add, "it'll soon be here, it...
A local man who grew up loving U2, hates them now because they are popular. “U2 used to be awesome until everyone else started liking them, then they became awful,” said the man, Kevin Stevens. “I liked them when they were young and up-and-coming,...
Fans of sleeping in comfortable movie chairs are excited about the upcoming release of First Man, the latest in the Hollywood tradition of boring movies about space, "We're proud of First Man," said producer, Robert Weinberger. "We think it's th...
Democrats, sick of losing to Republicans, have launched a new political campaign strategy to take back Jesus. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, the left-wing hippies loved Jesus. With their long hair and flowing garments, they even looked like Jesus. W...
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